Ramblings from The Frozen North

Freedom Community Park

2011-05-30T11:06:00.014-06:00

Several years ago some people had a vision to build a bigger and better park at the Elementary School that Connor now attends. At the time we did not live in this part of town and were unaware of this initiative. Two years ago when Connor started at CLES we heard about the vision and I quickly jumped on board to help out. I volunteered to raise money in anyway I could to make this vision a reality. Several people had been working hard on this for several years and were pushing hard to have this playground completed before their child moved on to the Middle School and would be unable to enjoy all the hard work they had put into it. With some great people, some wonderful donations and some hard work we were finally able to set a date and build the new playground.

Now this isn't just any old playground, this playground is special. The children got to choose what kind of equipment they wanted to put into it, they got to pick the name of the playground and decide who it would be dedicated to...it was a playground for the children by the children. But not only that it was an all inclusive playground. Since CLES has children with many different types of disabilities and illnesses this playground includes those kids as well. There is special swings, sensory areas and easy accessibility for children who would normally have difficulties with a regular playground. This is a very special playground. The most important part is that on Saturday May 28th the community came together and put all the finishing touches on the playground to make it complete...it was a great day and a wonderful project to be part of.

So how do you build a playground...as this sign says you need

1 great idea

+348 little innovators

+Lots of passion, creativity and hard work

and you get the best playground ever!

This wonderful banner provided by one of the companies who provided financial support, Osum, will be put into a time capsule.

So first we had the professionals come in and dig up the area, cement in the posts...

and then we had a crew of volunteers come in and put it all together...

Then the playground was dedicated to all those in the community who have lost their lives so that we could have our Freedom...hence the name of the park, that the children had chosen. Michael Andrew Ward a Canadian Soldier who gave his life at the age of 26 was the person the children choose to dedicate their part to. In this photograph is the father of this fallen solider.

For the time capsule we all dipped our hands in paint and put our prints onto the sign...

The hardest part of the day was waiting for all the speeches to be done so that the kids could go and play...

Then the race was on, every child figuring out what they wanted to play with first...

Connor headed straight for the saucer swings...I am sure he will be there a lot...

And no day is complete without a wonderful cake :)

So the community came together and created a wonderful thing for our community, a park that the kids will have to play on for many years to come. A park that includes all the children, where no one will have to sit on the sidelines and be unable to join in. A park dedicated to those who have given their lives so our children can run free. What a wonderful tribute to life in our community.

Lost Memories

2011-05-30T10:41:00.003-06:00

For quite some time I was blogging about my family and our activities I even had a family website, but life got so hectic that there just wasn't enough time to write. This was a huge mistake on my behalf because two months ago our hard drive containing all our photographs died, and the back up as well, losing all those memories. I have learnt a valuable lesson from this...not only to make sure you have more than one back up of your pictures, but that you need to blog or journal and include those pictures some where, you might not have all the pictures if something bad were to happen but at least you will have the ones that are important. So from now on I am going to post as often as I can to keep those memories alive.

Many things that happen in the course of your life might not seem like big things and you never realize how important it is to hold on to those memories until someone asks you about them and you can't remember. Many people have amazing memories and can remember every like the name of their first dog when they were a young child; or the name of the street they lived on when they were three. Some of us are not so lucky, we can't remember our first grade teacher at all let alone her/his name, we moved so many times that we can't remember the name of the town we lived in when we were three let alone the name of the street. Tragedy changes your memories as well, I used to be able to ask my mother and she would be able to tell me the answers to these questions, but since my father's accident she can't remember much of anything that happened through out her life. For this reason I have tried very hard to document my children's lives, some people would call it hording, but for me I try to keep the things that will tell them the things that might be important to them one day. Pictures are a great way of documenting a child's life, there is nothing that state what happened better than an image freezing the moment.

When my husband first bought me a Canon Rebel he told me they were digital pictures so I could take as many as I wanted and delete the good ones, and print off the good ones, but instead I keep all the pictures on the hard drive thinking that one day I would print off the good ones and make an album of memories for each of my children. I had several pictures, and last year I was the class photographer, everyone knew that if they missed the event chances were good I got a picture of their children...now I don't even have the pictures of my own children. I guess it takes a tragedy like this to show us the error of our ways, from now on print off the good ones and make those albums for the children because you never know what might happen.

I want to say that even though I am devastated by the loss of years of pictures I am thankful that all I lost were pictures. After seeing the real tragedies of places like Slave Lake, where people lost everything I value the fact that all I lost was a few pictures, it could have been much worse. My heart goes out to those people who have lost so much more than I and have nothing left but the memories to document their lives.

The Hardest Job on Earth

2011-02-15T18:32:00.004-07:00

For the past 20 years, like many parents, I have read articles, magazines and books telling me the best way to raise my children. The best part of these articles is that if you don't like what one expert tells you to do just wait five minutes and you are guaranteed to find another one telling you to do the exact opposite of what you were just told, the problem with this is deciding which is the right way. So many 'experts' say one thing the same and that is that you wouldn't start a career without training first yet many of us start parenting without a clue of what we are doing. I was 20 years old when my first child came home from the hospital and I was totally clueless and now 20 years later I still have no idea what I am doing.

One expert will tell you that you need to comfort your child and never let them feel pain and this will ensure that they will grow up to be a confident adult. While others say that coddling your child will make them weak and you need to all natural consequences as well as imposed consequences teach them that life is cruel and they need to learn how to deal with the real world. As a mother I don't want to see my children suffer, but I also want them to grow to be a capable adult. I know the answer lies somewhere between these two approaches the question is how do I find it?

The past year or so has been very trying for me. My eldest son has moved on and his father and I can only hope we gave him what he needs to be a productive decent member of society and so far it seems to be that way. Our daughter being 16 is pushing for her independence and of course driving us up the wall. Then we have an 11 year old daughter who is also pushing to be treated like a big girl not a child anymore, yet still expecting to be treated like a child when she doesn't want to deal with the responsibility of being more grown up. But the most challenging of all is the littlest one.

With a history of ADHD in my family I started researching just before Connor started preschool at age 4 for alternative ways to deal with the behaviours of ADHD. Connor isn't a bad child per say he is just a very active little boy, who in most cases doesn't stop and think out what he is doing before he is doing it. He can get very excited and has difficulty calming down. I learnt from my research that food colourings, additives and preservatives that were added to most of the foods we were consuming could cause these behaviours in some children. So we changed our diets, we removed as much food colouring, additives and preservatives from our diets as possible and noticed so drastic changes in his behaviour. Last fall when starting into grade 1 we were having some other issues that I wondered if they could be somehow connected to his diet, something I had missed or maybe more serious like a gluten, milk or other food allergy/sensitivity. I looked into a pediatrician (which I am still waiting for a call back for and it has been 4 months now), and while filling out these papers it was suggested that he see a chiropractor. Now I was a little leery but thought it couldn't hurt. Well for the past 4 months he has gone to the chiropractor and we have noticed even more changes in him...now to be fair there are many things going on and it would be difficult for us to say that it is all the chiropractor that is fixing it. He has matured he is almost 7 now...it is over half way through the school year and kids calm down after the first couple of months. He takes a pro-biotic, an enzyme, omega 3 and multivitamin supplement daily...but his reading and writing have improved drastically and his overall behaviour seems to have improved most days...

So that brings me to the whole reason for my post... This last couple of weeks we have been having issues that are new to his father and I. Once again we are doing things that seem to be done without taking the time to think things through. Every morning at his school they do a respect quote and part of it is to say 'Stop Think Act Right' so he knows that this is an important thing to do, yet he seems to have forgotten. There are other students in his class that are suggesting things to him that he knows are wrong or inappropriate yet he does them. Now I know this is not the fault of the other student, that Connor needs to take responsibility for his actions but I am at a loss for how I teach my child to stand up and say this is wrong and I am not going to do it. I haven't had this issue with my other children they seemed to be okay with standing up and saying no, but Connor seems to be very happy to follow his friends in the land of crazy ideas.

As I continue to read the parenting books looking for the answers I see that many say to use positive discipline and not to dwell on the negative. To allow him to think out what he should have done or what he thinks the punishment/consequences should be if he doesn't think before acting in the future. Well you ask a child what he thinks and surprisingly his answer is 'I don't know'. I can not even get an answer from him as to why he is doing these things that he knows are wrong. I will continue to read and hopefully I will find an answer that will work for my little guy, I will try to get him to think things through but I am not sure how you make a 6 year old boy look past the moment to see that what might be funny right now won't be so funny when you are picking garbage up off the playground at -20.

Just One More Time

2009-10-28T12:44:00.003-06:00

I am not a huge fan of talking on the phone, I would rather speak to people face to face but if my phone was to ring right this moment I would be very happy to hear my father's voice on the other end. I know that this will never happen as my father passed away 7 years ago (12 days from now). For those of you who have followed my blog know that my father passed away in a tragic accident. Talking about what happened to my father is very difficult even after all these years but here is the story.

On 9 November 2002 my brother and my father were traveling on the highway after a snowstorm the 50kms between the town we all lived in and the next town. I had spoke to my father that morning to discuss the condition of the roads and he told me that he believed they were clearing up and that they would be fine to travel. After all I had traveled on that road that morning, so had my mother and there was no problems. My brother and my father emptied out my brother's truck and headed for town. Now many things happened this morning that struck us as old and we still can't answer them. My father was a professional truck driver, and my brother wasn't a very confident driver...not because of his lack of skills but that he tired easily while driving and usually ended up sleeping while the two of them would drive this drive every day to work. For some reason my father told my brother to go ahead and drive.

My father had been right that the roads were clear most of the way and about 10 kms outside of town, just pass the turn to where they worked the roads were starting to ice. The news later reported that what had happened was the temperatures rose and then dropped again, so the snow melted and then frozen again. So when my mother and I went in the roads were wet because the snow was melting but by the time my brother came in the roads had frozen over. My brother hit a patch of black ice and lost control of his truck. He begged my father to help him and my father just said "Allen it is okay, just let it go." We don't know if my father knew it was his time but he seemed to be at peace with the accident. My father wasn't wearing his seat belt at the time of the accident and he was thrown from the passenger side window. The truck rolled several times and came to rest on top of my father...he lived until they lifted the truck off of him, the whole time my brother was holding his hand. My brother walked away with minor injuries (whip lash and back pain) but that was the end of his physical injuries.

As you can see from this no one (my brother thought he would make it) had a chance to say goodbye. My relationship with my father had been strained to say the least. We had a long history of trouble in our relationship and as an adult I was starting to figure things out and put the pieces together that would have repaired our relationship a bit. I don't know if we would have ever been able to fix things as my father was still an alcoholic when he died and this was the biggest trouble in our relationship. I think like most people I thought my father would be there forever, I never thought that he would leave the world when I was only 32...I thought for sure that he would at least be around until I was 50. I never thought I would get married and not have my father there. I never thought I would have another child and my father never see him. Even 7 years later I can't believe that at 51 years old my father was gone.

If I could talk to him today I would tell him how much I miss him. I would tell him how sorry I am for not allowing him in my life more, and tell him that as much as I hated his alcoholism I did love him. There are so many things that went unsaid and I wish I had a chance to say them now. All I can say now is that I don't leave things unsaid, no matter how angry I am and how much I don't want to say it...I always make sure those I love know I love them because you never know when the end for either them or yourself will be.

Advice To Live By

2009-10-04T12:58:00.004-06:00

Stay Young My Friend

I received this email and I think it is great advice :)

We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are!

How to stay young

1. Try Everything Twice

On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:

"tried everything twice, loved it both times!"

2. Keep Only Cheerful Friends

The grouches pull you down

(Keep this in mind if you are one of the grouches)

3. Keep Learning

Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever...

Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'

And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy The Simple Things

5. Laugh Often, Long and Loud.

Laugh until you gasp for breath.

And if you have a friend who makes you laugh spend lots and lots of time with him/her.

6. The Tears Happen:

Endure, grieve and move on.

The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.

LIVE while your alive.

7. Surround Yourself With What You Love:

Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish Your Health:

If it is good, preserve it.

If it is unstable, improve it.

If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't Take Guilt Trips

Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell The People You Love That You Love Them, At Every Opportunity.

11. Forgive Now Those Who Made You Cry. You Might Not Get a Second Chance.

Family Fun Fair

2009-10-04T11:58:00.008-06:00

Yesterday was a really busy day...we started out with going to the local baby clothing sale, then rushed over to Connor's music class. Ariel joined us and she tried real hard to catch a picture of her brother but she learnt real quick that he just moves around way too much to catch him :) She finally got a nice one when it was time to sign the goodbye song.

After class we tried to get a picture of him with his teacher, which is also his kindergarten teacher. First his little friend Liza joined in...

And then he kept making goofy faces...just being a boy :)

His teacher is such a sweet woman with the patience of a saint (he actually has two teachers one morning teacher and this is his afternoon teacher and they are both great) but I guess with 26 kids in your class and several of them being very busy you have no choice but to learn patience :)

Then it was on to the Fall Family Fair to raise money for a water park at the beach...not really sure why you would want a water park next to the water but hey it is better than no where I guess. As we were walking up we saw some children in a firetruck...the gentleman asked if Connor wanted to drive it. He was so excited...at least until it started driving away :)

He started yelling for it to stop because he wasn't sure how he was driving it but he was freaking out...but when the ride was over he told every one that he drove the firetruck and was so excited that he had done it on his own. I am not sure how they set it up but it drove down to the end of the parking lot and turned around all on it's own.

Then it was inside for the fair, they had a bouncer and games and races as well as a strong man competition and a pie eating contest. Connor had a blast going from one activity to another. His little friend from school and music, Liza was there to join in his fun.

I caught them both looking all cowpokish and captured a great shot of them :)

I got Connor to pose for a couple of shots for me, but he wasn't sitting long enough for me to figure his sister's camera out and he was gone :) but this one is pretty good.

Here are a couple of shots of Connor and Ariel in the sack races...

The highlight of the evening for him was the dance...he showed his moves

He danced with his sister

and spent most of the night chasing after his friends, but he had a blast.

Sorry the picture quality isn't the best I was using my daughter's camera and I haven't used it in a long time so it took me a bit to figure it out again :) I am sure Connor is hoping there is another family fair soon, and I am hoping more of the family can go next time :)

Friends: The Good and The Bad

2009-10-04T10:39:00.002-06:00

Friends is something I have always had issues with and today I am seriously struggling with this concept. Last night I went to a family fair with my children and there was a woman there that says she is my friend. She spoke to me, and joked with me about the cute things our two youngest children were doing, sat at the table right next to me while my daughter and I sat all alone, and she ignored us. This made me leave the fair wondering about people and their opinion of friend. Ariel and I discussed this and maybe it is our town, maybe it is life in today's world I don't know for sure but it seems that people only have time for one or two really good friends in their lives now a days and the rest are just friends they talk to when they see them.

To me it seems that people create groups of friends and they never really want to let anyone else in. It seems that people make friends and have lots of room for acquaintances but not more friends, and they don't allow people in to find out if they are missing out on the best friendship of their lives. Whether it be their friends are their school friends, the ones they have known since they were children; maybe it is the people they met when they first moved to the town. It doesn't really matter the point is that if you are new unless you meet other new people finding someone who has room for you to be their friend is almost impossible. I have a lot of acquaintances people that include me on their friends list on facebook, who talk to me whenever they see me out in the town, would have a drink with me if they saw me at a party. But these same people would never come to my house for coffee or invite me out for coffee although they usually say the age old "we should get together someday soon". These people list me when talking about the friends they have yet never spend more than an hour with me. I find this is the way of life and I have never had enough of this kind of friend for my day to be full...so I usually sit home alone without friends :(

Many years ago I met a woman at the worst time of my life. I was 20 years old in the hospital with toxemia and not allowed out of bed. She was 22 just having given birth to her second child and was there to help me. She was very kind and understanding which was something I didn't have been thousands of miles from my family. She left the hospital and I never saw her again for the next 8 months. Then I ran into her in the local grocery store. We exchanged numbers and discussed calling when I returned from a trip home. When I got back I gave her a call and she has been my best friend ever since. She was there for me when I had my second child, we were there for each other through our husbands being away and everything else being a military wife entailed. At the time our friendship was taboo, her husband was an 'officer' and mine was a 'rank' and in those days there wasn't to be mingling between the ranks. She didn't care if her husband didn't get promoted she was going to hang out with whom ever she choose. In 1996 within months of each other we both divorced and moved back to our home towns...unfortunately mine was in Alberta and her's was in Ontario...I haven't seen her since.

In the beginning it was letters and an occasional phone call (as those were expensive), then it was email and the occasional msn conversation, and now it is text messaging and msn. But we have always been there for each other, through difficult relationships, problems with the children, exs or our parents. The one thing I love about this friend, the one thing I have a really hard time finding in any other friend is her honesty. My friend (whom I share a name with) Tammy is brutally honest, if I want to hear how it is without anything being held back I will ask her, I know she will tell me what she sees and not lie to me. When I have no where else to turn and everyone else is sugar coating things for me I know that she is there and will give it to me straight. The world needs more people like her that aren't afraid to be themselves and not sugar coat life.

Although she lives thousands of miles from me and I haven't actually seen her in almost 15 years there is no one else on the planet I would call my best friend other than her. It is kind of funny that after being friend for 6 years living just across town from each other I don't have a single picture of us together, her family actually things I am a figment of her imagination :)

Life's Unforgettable Moments

2009-10-02T19:08:00.017-06:00

Life is full of moments, we all have them. Some are things like when the US president was assassinated, or the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Those moments that you will never forget where you were and what you were doing at that exact moment. Not all unforgettable moments are joyous occasions, for most people it is the opposite the bad memories are the ones that seem to leave an imprint on your mind and never leave. I think for me it is about half and half, and considering the life I have had that should be a good thing :)

Summer 1976 I was in a car accident. This is my first real childhood memory, I don't recall anything prior to this accident. I was six years old and we were travelling between my Aunt's and my Grandmother's houses. A woman turned onto the highway taking the turn too sharp and hit us head on. Fortunately no one died but it was quite the experience. The car we had borrowed from another uncle was of course written off and both my parents were taken to the hospital. I don't recall the extent of their injuries but I know my mother had many broken bones. This accident is not only my first childhood memory but will contribute to another very memorable moment.

9 February 1979 was the next memorable moment in my life. My uncle had moved to Alberta the previous fall and told my father that due to the oil boom in Alberta it would be easy for my dad to get a good job, so my family sold most of our stuff and packed up the rest, moving across the country in look for work. We arrived the day before I turned 9 and my life changed forever, that was the end of the world as I knew it and my life changed forever.

11 August 1989 was the next memorable moment of my life. I was living in Jasper (the tourist trap town) working and had no phone. My mother had called my at the time best friend to let her know I needed to call home right away. I never got this message until about 8pm....my mother called around 2pm. Fortunately I didn't have access to a radio or television :) Anyway I went and called my mother and got the worst news I had ever heard in my life. There had been a terrible accident, a woman with a van load of children ran a stop sign and T-boned a vehicle carrying members of my family. I blogged the whole story here. This accident killed my 19 year old sister in law, her 9 year old sister, her mother and step father. The only person still alive in that vehicle was my 6 month old nephew. The world stopped moving at that moment and never rotated the same way again.

14 December 1989 at the age of 19 I got married for the first time. I married my high school sweetheart thousands of miles away from home. It was just the two of us with two other couples and proof of the state of my life at the time, they were both friends of his. Both friends from his job or basic training. I didn't really know one of the wives and the other and I never really became friends as I wasn't impressed with her and the way she lived her life. Anyway the morning of my wedding my kitten died, we went to the wedding and while in saying our "I do's" a blizzard hit. It was not the world's best day...something told me that perhaps I shouldn't have been getting married that day. The deal we had was that in a couple of years when we had saved up enough money we would have a big family wedding and of course we were divorced before that happened.

23 August 1990 was a big day. According to the doctors I was pregnant before I got married, according to me I was pregnant two days after my wedding...but whatever 9 months later we had our first child. We were both 20 years old, thousands of miles away from home and had no idea what we were doing. I spent one whole month in the hospital because I had what they called toxemia at the time (I know it has a different name now). Because my blood pressure was so high I was induced as they didn't like to allow babies in this situation go full term as it was too dangerous. On August 22, 1990 I was moved from the local hospital to the big town hospital about 20 minutes away. I would start my induction the next day. At 10 am the drip began and after a whole day of serious pain, and every drug they could give me I gave birth to an 8lb 7.5oz beautiful baby boy. We named him Nathan Corey Allen. Just after they took him away I tried to call my mother and passed out on the table, of course they took the phone away and hung up on my mother, the poor woman had no idea what was going on. I had lost so much blood I went into shock...I never actually knew what the problem was until I was pregnant with my second child 4 years later.

20 April 1994 was the birth of my baby girl. Three years after my first child I decided that I wanted another child, my marriage was failing and it might not have been the smartest choice it was what I wanted and I am one of those people that does what I want and think about it later :( Anyway on the 19th of April 1994 I went to the doctor and after his examination he informed me that I would probably go into labour in the middle of the night. At 5:30 the next morning I woke having to pee real bad...and my first contraction started. Since my first child wasn't a totally natural child birth I had no idea what true contractions felt like, but 5 minutes later the next one came. I told Christopher it was time, he called the hospital and told them and they told him to take his time. He jumped in the shower and by the time he jumped out my contractions were 1 minute apart. We dropped off our oldest at a friends and headed to the hospital almost 45 minutes away...we barely made it. Christopher almost pulled into the small town hospital that no longer delivered babies to prevent her being born in the car...turns out my doctor was headed to that hospital and had to be called back anyway. He barely made it in time to catch the baby and at 8:04 my beautiful baby girl was born. 10lbs 1/2oz. The biggest thing of the day was deciding on her name :) Check here for the whole story. We called her Jenifer Ariel Faith.

9 August 1996 after 6 1/2 years of marriage life changed. I remember the moment of going into the registries building and signing the papers that ended my marriage. I remember the day I got on the bus to head back to Calgary, leaving my children crying with their father (another long story I might blog about someday). I remember the day I arrived in Calgary, mother's day 11 May 1996. My parents picked me up from the bus depot and took me to meet my two month old baby niece. All I could do was cry, not only was my marriage over but I arrived to start my new life on Mother's day without my children...mother's day was a day I hated for many years to come. In the end of July 1996 my divorce certificate arrived in the mail stating that on 9 Aug 96 my marriage was over. Every year I think about that on that day...even though I am remarried to that man :)

9 November 2002 left a lasting impression like no other it was the day my father died. I will blog in more detail about this one day but for now here is the story. My father and brother were coming into town to help me move some furniture, my brother hit a patch of black ice while driving in and lost control of his truck. I was sitting at my ex's apartment wondering why it was taking so long. Then I decided to call my brother's wife, we were on the phone when I heard sirens and I just knew. I said to her "Stacey something is wrong." She called her husband and couldn't get more out of him than there was an accident and come to the hospital. I knew right then it couldn't be good. I got to the hospital first and I knew my father was gone. Later we heard the whole story and the bad news that my father had not put on his seatbelt and had been thrown from the window and when the vehicle came to rest it was on top of him. Remember back to the first unforgettable memory. My father was wearing his seat belt in that crash and they told him that it caused most of his injuries so from then on he stopped wearing it...if he had wore it that day it would have saved his life :(

1 May 2004 the birth of my last child. My life continued in a downward spiral after the death of my father. And although I have never journaled the details of the situation surrounding my last pregnancy (not sure if I can yet) I found myself pregnant the summer after my father's passing. I was 33 years old and really not sure if I wanted another baby. For many years since my last child I had tried to get pregnant, I think I wanted the baby to fill the void left by the loss of my first two than actually wanting a baby but anyway when I found out I was pregnant I tried to ignore it you know hoping it would go away. But on 1 May 04 I went into labour...I found it humorous that I said I didn't care what day he was born as long as it wasn't May and he came out on the first, shows how stubborn he is. I had my first contraction at 7:30 and at 10:01 he was born. He was coming out the wrong way, his face was turned, they had to reach in and turn his face. The cord was wrapped around his neck. He wasn't breathing and was totally purple...you can kind of see the bruises on his face in this picture. He was fine and is now an adorable bundle of energy.

21 July 2007 was the day I got married for the second time. In January 2005 my ex-husband and I rekindled our relationship and two months later we were living together with our four children. We had a big wedding like we had talked about the first time, but it was bigger than we had wanted (another long story I might blog sometime). It was a small affair with less than 50 people at it, in a beautiful church in the town my husband grew up in. My dress was amazing although it kept falling down :( and the minister was awesome. There are many things if I could do it over again I would have done but what's done is done. This wedding meant so much more to me than the first one I was 37 years old verses 19 at the first one and things were just very different.

As I said there are many more moments in my life but these are the 10 that the dates stick out in my mind ones that I will never forget.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now

2009-10-02T13:31:00.009-06:00

The easiest way to tell this story is to go back to the beginning. I had dated Christopher off and on since I was 15 (more off than on) and after going to basic training to join the Air Force he returned and called up a bunch of old friends to let them know he was leaving town for good. I had just turned 19 and was very surprised to hear from him as we had not spoken in nearly 2 years. We got along great like no time had passed at all and we rekindled our relationship. Because he had already put in his posting options our options were limited as to where we would end up...he got posted as far away from our families as he could and still stay in Canada. We were together for 6 1/2 years, having two children and divorced. Then after a 9 year seperation that was really unpleasant both in being seperated and in what we said and did to each other, then we once again rekindled our relationship. That was 5 years ago and things are rocky to say the least but we are trying to make it through the hard times.

I was inspired by my friend Audrey to make a layout about the letter I wrote to younger self about that time of my life:

credits template by Taylormade; rose paper (recoloured) by Andrea Victoria; frame by Claudi Designs; fonts are DSP Tiffany and Exmouth

Journaling reads:

If I could tell the 'me' in this photo what I know now I would tell her this: Looking at this picture I see how easy you thought life would be. You were in love with this guy and he loved you and treated you well. He had a career set up and a life plan for the two of you. What the picture doesn't show is how dependent on him you were, how scared you were of the plan he had for your futures, and how little you allowed yourself to think about what you were doing. I guess they call it following your heart, but you didn't think it all through you just trusted that love was enough. Everything seemed so simple, you would move with him, live together, get married, have children and life would just turn out wonderfully. It seemed that the happiness you had always wanted had just fallen into your lap.

Love is a very complicated thing and no matter how in love you are life happens and feelings change. Sometimes the love deepens and sometimes you grow apart. The life that seemed so easy to you wasn't. Living thousands of miles from your family and friends took a toll on both of you. For you there was no one else, no friends, no family, no co-workers, just the two of you. He was your life, your everything, and even though this had seemed wonderful in the beginning the loneliness started taking its toll. Your unhappiness started to rule the relationship and things just continued to get worse. The love you thought would be enough to lead the two of you through the wonderful life you had planned seemed to be dying.

Nineteen is so young to decide what you are going to do with the rest of your life. For some people following your heart works out in the end and for others the love in their hearts just isn't enough to get through a lifetime together. It might be the lessons taught to them as children, maybe it is that they were taught how to love but for you following your heart will lead to heart ache. Life may have turned out better if you had not followed him but there is really no way to know that. There is no way to know how the choices we make effect the outcome of our lives or how things will turn out, but I know that taking the time to really think through the choices that you make and not allowing your heart to take the lead will definitely change the course of things.

There is no better feeling than to be in love, and to have someone love you back. The sheer joy you feel knowing there is someone there for you can't be beaten. But allowing those feelings to dictate the things you do with your life rarely work out well. My advice to you is allow your heart to direct you but don't allow it to control you. Love is a wonderful thing but it is not the only thing and some times it just isn't enough. Twenty years from the time of this photo the two of you will be together but it will have been a very bumpy road and it will continue to be bumpy. Hopefully love will be enough to pull us through but I honestly believe that if at this stage of our life if we had allowed our heads to control a few more decisions things wouldn't have been as bumpy. He was your first love, he was supposed to be your life but the decisions that are made by following your heart and not your head will alter the course of that love. Take it slow if all goes right you have your whole life to do the things you want to do, they don’t have all be done in one day.

Get to Know Me Part II

2009-10-01T17:11:00.004-06:00

This is the most recent photo of me and my family...left to right...Joelle (my oldest's girlfriend), Nathan (my oldest), Ariel (my 15 year old), Me, Christopher (my husband), in front Brittany (my step-daughter) and Connor (my baby).

As we are trying again with our blog group I will post again my answers to the getting to know me interview challenge.

Firstly my name is Tammy or TammyLin which ever is fine with me. Right now my screen name is just plain old Tammylin but it was TaliG which is just Ta from Tammy and Li from Lin and the G for my last name...nothing original :)

I am a stay at home mother of 4 kids. My oldest just turned 19 this summer and graduated from high school in June. He is living at home working full time right now trying to figure out what to do with his life. He is dating a girl who we all love a lot that is off at college taking legal studies in hopes of being a Police officer. My next is 15 and she is going through all the typical teenage girl stuff, and some days I wonder if I will make it through :) The next is my 10 year old step daughter (long story :) and the child causes me grief daily but nothing compared to her mother. Then I have my baby, yes I know he isn't a baby anymore now that he is 5 but he will always be my baby. He started kindergarten last month and it has been very difficult for me. My husband just retired from the Canadian Air Force last spring after 20 years of service and now works on the Air Force base through a civilian company. My family and that of my husband live about 600kms away from us and we don't really get a chance to see them often and sometimes I think that is a good thing :)

I am a digital scrapbooker, I have never done a paper scrapbook page. I bought a kit about 10 years ago when my mother celebrated her 50th birthday but I could never figure out what to do with it, and I still have it all and haven't figured it out. If you give me paper and pictures I just stare at it unsure of what I am supposed to do, but give me a computer with scrapbooking software, pictures and supplies and I can create anything out of a blank page, and I have no idea why that is :) My children are my inspiration for the most part. I want so much to record the moments so that later they are not forgotten. I lost a lot of memories when my oldest two were younger and I wish I still had those moments, so now I try to hold on to all the moments, although I am sure my children wish I would put the camera away :)

Other than scrapbooking I spend time with my kids. I love hanging out with them and doing family stuff. I don't really do much else but hang out with the kids. Sounds pretty boring to some people but to me there is nothing better than being with the kids. I love to camp and hike especially in the beautiful areas around me, if you want to see some of those areas check out these posts: honeymoon, or summer vacation. I also love a good book and will at times journal about the great ones I have read. I like cross stitch, knitting and ceramic painting as well.

Relaxation is hard to get when you have four children but usually the only way to get it around here is to fill the tub with hot water and bubbles, lock the bathroom door and hide in a good book. Or hiding out in the bedroom watching my favourite TV show. And believe it or not some times just hanging out with the kids is all the relaxation I need :)

As for music I love country music, I just recently went to the Keith Urban/Lady Antebellum tour and it was great (late Mother's day gift from my husband) but I don't usually get to listen to what I want. The kids are usually changing the station. My littlest one is a music fanatic and he loves singing any song, but he is a huge heavy metal fan but since he started kindergarten the music has kind of changed. He has us going around the house singing "Elephants have wrinkles", or "4 little Jellybeans down in my belly bean". I love his love of music but after awhile those songs can drive you crazy ;)

TV has been something that I haven't been able to keep up with lately. I have serious sleep issues so some nights I am in bed long before the shows I like have started, and other nights I could watch them all and still be awake for hours. I tend to fall behind on the shows and then just stop watching them. But when I do watch I love the crime dramas such as CSI, Bones, Criminal Minds, Law & Order SVU. I also like House although I just started watching it last year and need to start at the beginning. I have started watching Private Practice, 90210, Gossip Girl and Melrose Place for mindless entertainment :)

As for collections my husband really wishes I would stop collecting things. Other than every craft my children have ever made me I collect teddy bears (and have started my daughter doing the same thing). My parents started this collection when I was a child and I have many bears. My latest two were a biker hound named Harley that my oldest bought me for a late mother's day birthday gift and a winnie the pooh his girlfriend bought me to say thanks for taking us along on our summer holiday. I also collect dolls...as a child they started out as rather cheap dolls but as the years went on they expanded. I have many different dolls with meaning ones my husband brought back for me on trips to Iceland, Greenland or Scotland. One that was bought for me on my first honeymoon or the last one that was purchased as a Christmas gift for me a few weeks before my father passed away. And lastly I collect shot glasses most of them are places I have been but every time my husband goes away he picks me up one for my collection. Everyone knows of this collection as we gave out shot glasses full of Hershey's hugs and kisses for a thank you gift at our wedding :)

What makes me ME well this is tricky. In all honesty I am like most people at sb.com, I love to scrapbook although I am not that great at it (in my opinion), I love to take photos and again I don't believe I am that great at it. I am just another stay at home mom and there isn't really anything unique about me. I think the thing that makes me different from everyone else is these two things...one is that I am married to my first husband for the second time after a 10 year separation...doesn't happen often :) Second thing is that my children are so spread out in age. Most of the parents my oldest sons age have teenagers and not preschoolers, and most of the parents my youngest sons age have young children not teenagers. It is a rare thing to have a 19 year old at the same time as a 5 year old unless you have a lot of children. Basically meaning that I have done it all. I have been married and a stay at home mom, I have been divorced struggling to support myself, I have been a single mother and I have been a married mom. I have teenagers and toddlers at the same time. I don't think there is anything in the relationship or parenting areas of life that I haven't dealt with and if there is I really hope I don' t have to :)

On a desert island the things I would take with me would be my camera, although I don't know what I would do if I was there for awhile and the batteries died :( but taking pictures is totally something I love to do and if I was in one of the most beautiful places in the world I would have to take pictures. Then I would have a photo of my children, I couldn't imagine living a day without them but if I had to I would need a photo to look at daily. And lastly I would take a journal/pen so that I could record the things that happened while I was there, maybe I could keep myself from going crazy :)

Thanks for reading my long blog about me, I am looking forward to getting to know you :)

Semi Formal Photo Shoot

2009-09-20T11:50:00.007-06:00

Ariel was unable to attend her Grade 9 Graduation dance because of other commitments so the youth center she is on the committee for planned a semi formal dance so she could use her grad dress...these are the pictures I took of her before she left.

This is in the front yard, unfortunately with the neighbour's house in the background ;(

I think fading out distracts from the house in the background

This is a crop of the original body shot

Not sure what it is about this one but I just love how the effect turned out

Another crop with fade just for effect

The full shot

I think the fence is distracting in this shot

On our deck

in black and white

Cropped down with aged effect, one of my faves :)

Indian Summer

2009-09-18T13:10:00.005-06:00

Summer here has been so crazy this year that to be totally honest I don't think it actually arrived until September. We had rain and rain and very chilly days, the weather never really got up past 20C and when it did it didn't stay very long. A few days at best and it would be chilly again.

This is the typical summer photo...sitting in the rain. The beginning of August instead of camping we were sitting with our jackets on freezing our wet butts off :( We took a drive out to the local provincial park at the beginning of August and the leaves were already changing colours because it had been so cold.

Then it was the few days before the kids were supposed to start back to school when the weather finally got warm and stayed that way. Days in a row it was 30C+, it was the summer we were hoping for but it was fall...too late for those temperatures.

Living in the northern part of the country we don't have a lot of time for any season other than winter so we hope that the other seasons last as long as they possibly can. Indian summer can be a very nice change from the weather that you know is coming...but that is the problem you know that when it ends winter is just around the corner. When the temperatures drop down to 0C in the mornings you know that it won't be long until you are waking up with frost on the windows and needing your winter jacket. And then it won't be long after that until the temperatures are -15C and you are freezing your butt off. Indian summer brings mixed emotions for me, I love the warmth it brings because it isn't as hot and humid as the summer days, there is always a nice little breeze no matter how high the temperatures go. They are beautiful days that you can enjoy with your family...the problem is that they come after the kids have returned to school, the husband is at work and you are home alone to enjoy the sunshine...okay that isn't as bad as it sounds :) This is a bit annoying because we didn't get these beautiful days during the summer, when you had planned on taking the kids to the lake, or out camping or to the amusement park...not you got them now when it is too late to do anything.

I love the sunshine and will take everyday...although I could never live where the sun shined all the time and the temperatures in the summer were unbearably hot...I love the last few days of summer that show up just when you think you are never going to get a decent summer and ease you into the long months of winter. I believe today is the first day of fall (21 Sept) so I guess those summer days will be fading very fast, as October approaches so does the snow and the cold :(

School Photo Shoot

2009-09-09T22:20:00.005-06:00

So once again I forced the kids to endure hours of flash and posing :) For the most part they were cooperative...well all expect my oldest who refused to have his picture taken. I hope to get some family shots...maybe he will cooperate for those.

Connor with one of his favourite books...

Connor and a few of his favourite things :)

I really like this shot of him, so innocent looking :)

Not sure about the look of this one...

Brittany and a few of her favourite things....

not sure about the look on her face here...

I think this one is quiet cute...

I think this might be my fave...

Ariel and a few of her favourite things...

Ariel and Lexie...

This one is okay...

I think this is my fave....

Please feel free to let me know what you like...these are going to be the pics I send out for family as school pictures (can't see the point of paying for school pics when the ones in the yard are just as good)

The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives

2009-09-09T10:33:00.008-06:00

So it is that time of year again...back to school. Every year this greets me with a bag of mixed emotions as I am sure it does with every parent. I am happy that summer is over and the kids will be gone during the day instead of here bugging me and fighting with each other. But at the same time it saddens me that my house is empty of the noise, no Disney movies blaring, no video games going, no sounds of shreks as kids run through the sprinkler. All is quiet. I thought to commerate the first day of school I would do a flash back post...now I don't seem to have back to school pictures from the first day of school for all the kids (I have them just not on my computer :( but here are their Kindergarten class photos as well as their first day of school this year photo...

Brittany

Brittany started grade 5 this year...

Ariel

Ariel started high school...this was a big deal for her as it was the first year for the new high school, and she was leaving the school she had attended since kindergarten to attend the high school, she was a little overwhelmed at first especially since she knew very few people in her classes but she seems to be taking it in stride...grade 10

Now Nathan...

As you know Nathan graduated in June so he is done...this is his graduation photo

Being a mom of four kids I have done this first day of school thing before...okay I am lying sort of...I have done it once before when Nathan started kindergarten September 1994. I missed out on Ariel's first day and wasn't involved with Brittany until half way through kindergarten. So this is only my second time having to say goodbye. It was very hard with Nathan because I was admitting that my baby was old enough to go on without me, but I had a baby at home to fill my days and keep me busy...but now. Well today was the day, the day I let go of my last baby. The day that I took Connor to kindergarten. It is so quiet in my house right now, and although it is nice to be able to do somethings around the house and not have to worry about what he is up to, it is sad that he is all grown up. I know he will still be here on the weekends and we can still hang out on Fridays when he doesn't have classes but it is hard to believe he is ready for this...I know I am not.

The minute he got up he was jumping up and down and singing "I am going to school, yah" songs. He was so hyped I could barely control his emotions. But then he got to school and I saw a child I had never seen before, he was quiet and shy. He hide in the pretend kitchen looking at the girls from his preschool class through binoculars...he was afraid to get close to anyone, except the teacher of course. He was loving it, and I am sure when I pick him up at 3:30 he won't be able to contain his excitement. Here is hoping it will be a great year :)

Now just for fun I thought I would throw a crazy picture at you...think back to 1975...yes that was how many years ago it was that I was in kindergarten. And please when you look at this picture remember I had nothing to do with this look :)

Just For Laughs

2009-08-27T11:04:00.003-06:00

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Summer Memories...Part II The View From a Mountain Top

2009-08-26T11:37:00.015-06:00

When I started the post about my vacation I realized that I had not posted the pictures from my honeymoon 2 years ago. So I decided I should do that as this is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. We went to Waterton International Peace Park or Waterton/Glacier International Park. This park is both in Canada and USA...they best way to get from one to the other is by boat.

One of the first things you see when you enter the park is the Prince of Wales hotel there is a long history about this hotel and it is one of the oldest buildings in the park. But the best part of this hotel is the view...

From this hotel you can look down Lower Waterton lake onto the town and it is a spectacular view. The boat that takes you to the USA side of the park travels down this lake and the view is spectacular. My husband and I took the evening cruise across to the American side...

There were huge forest fires going on in British Columbia at the time and the smoke was coming in and causing a bit of a haze but the view was still spectacular...we were amazed. They keep the border clean up so either side you look up you can see where Canada ends and USA begins. We even saw an Eagle on our trip :)

The next part of our adventure was Cameron Lake, this was another spectacular view. We were told that there was only one way to truly enjoy the beauty of Cameron Lake and that was in a canoe so we hoped in and headed out...

The water was an amazing green...I had been told that was because of the minerals that came down when the glacier melted into the lake. Yes that white stuff is glacial snow...and yes the water is very cold. It is about 50-60 feet deep and crystal clear you can see all the way to the bottom and it looks like you can just reach in and touch it but trust me you can't. We were there in July and there was still a huge piece of Glacier Ice on the side so we pull up to check it out...it is so hard and solid it feels like a very large frozen rock.

This is a shot of the waterfall coming down the mountain into the lake...you can't see this if you don't jump in the canoe and go out to see it.

The view from the other end of the lake isn't as beautiful but so peaceful. They don't allow any boats with motors on this lake so it is so quiet, you are surrounded by moutains and water, I don't think there is much better ways to see God's beauty than this.

Another awesome thing to see is Red Rock Canyon, this is a pretty easy hike but the view is amazing...and not for reasons like the other places in Waterton. As the name states the rocks in this area are a very brilliant red...

A little way down the this area is the Balkston Falls another beautiful sight...

For me the best part of this beautiful country was a hike up the Bear's Hump, the name comes from the look of the mountain. It is quite a hike for beginners like me anyway, I think it is like 1 1/2 kms or something like that, and is pretty straight up...but all I can say is you will never experience a view like that from the top of the Bear's hump...

A real simple hike if you want to call it that is Cameron Falls...this beautiful little waterfall is right in the town. There is a short hike up the side of it and you can look down on the falls...

As you start on this hike you encounter this sign...now it doesn't seem like much, what kind of fool would jump off the top of a waterfall into the water below right? Well we know a fool that would do just that. When at this park as children my husband's uncle decided to jump...so this sign is for fools just like him :)

Here are some more beautiful shots of things right in town...this is the view from our hotel room...

This is the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) office just down the street from our hotel ...

This is the little deer that came right up to our hotel door...

This is an amazingly beautiful place and I recommend it to anyone, if you are just looking for beautiful scenery or if you are looking for amazing hikes (I hear there is a 17 km hike, Crypt Lake, through a tunnel that the view is to die for...one day I will go on this hike) this is the place. Alberta has two moutain towns that are world known Banff and Jasper...but this place is just as beautiful but not as loaded with tourists.

Vacation to Southern Alberta

2009-08-26T11:06:00.020-06:00

I took over 600 photos while away on our little vacation last week so I will just post a few of my faves...

First stop on our trip was the local amusement park. Calaway park opened in 1982 and during my childhoood I went there once. After 1996 I took my children there every summer, but lately we haven't been in awhile. The kids had a blast...I took a few photos of every ride they were on but I won't bore you will all of them just a couple I really like...

Here are some posed shots that I really love...

Connor on the rocks

Brittany on the rocks

The gang with Joelle (Nathan's girlfriend) and Gramma (we have taken a photo on this bridge every summer we have been there since 1996)

Ariel hanging out with Gramma enjoying the sun

Our whole gang

We spent a few hours (well I think one day) hanging out at Gramma's ranch while running to all our other activities...I got a couple great shots there as well...

I love this one of Nathan and Joelle since they weren't looking at me it is the best shot I got of them the whole trip...

The kids all fell in love with this kitten...so much so that they convinced Dad the cat hater to bring it home with us.

Connor and our new kitten Whiskey (at least that is him name at the moment)

One afternoon we headed out to Head Smashed In Buffalo Jump that is less than a half our drive from the ranch. This was one of the highlights of the trip for Connor, he loved the movie they show, strange what children will remember :)

The sun was very bright and Nathan was having a hard time posing for these shots

One of my husband and I

The kids...and yes those are tipis in the background...you can actually camp out in them if you book them.

One of my favourite shots of my girl

Another one of the gang...

Our next trip was to Waterton National Park. Since I have done a post about Waterton already I won't bore you with the same pictures...just a few new ones :) Southern Alberta is known for its high winds...Lethbridge which is only a 1/2 hour drive or so from my mother-in-laws ranch is known as the windy city so they have put up these windmills to harvest the power...this is the closest I have ever gotten to one...

The saying that goes with Waterton is "where prairie meets the mountains". You go from farmer's field to mountains, it is an amazing sight, I think this picture captures it best...

As mentioned in my other Waterton post the only way to see Cameron Lake is by canoe, well my mother-in-law, like myself and my son Nathan can't swim and has a huge fear of water so we thought a paddle boat would be best. So her and Ariel set off in a paddle boat...

But that didn't last long. I guess the guy at the dock was surprised they lasted 15 minutes I guess most people return them after 5...so if you ever go to Cameron Lake don't waste your money on a paddle boat, just hope in a canoe...

Ariel

Joyce

Joelle

Brittany

Nathan

Christohper and Connor

Sorry no photos of me...

Here is the shot of the whole group of us after we rowed to the end...

Ariel wanted this photo to prove to her friends that she went somewhere that still had snow in late August...

Nathan and Joelle

Connor saw a deer in the woods and thought he should go hunting after him...

Brittany

I have many many more photos but these are just some of my faves...maybe someday I will post some more.

We also went to see New West Theatre production in Lethbridge, this is the second show we have seen of this group and they are awesome. It is a musical comedy theatrical performance and it is roll out of your seat funny, and cheap (well I have never really been to any other theatre but I have been told the prices are great). It is well worth the cost and trust me it is awesome.

One Day I Would Love To Meet You...

2009-08-26T10:45:00.002-06:00

Many people are pulled into the world of celebrities and spend so much time wishing they could meet their favourite TV/movie star? Wanting to meet that person, spending all their time wishing they could get to know that person. For me I don't really think that would be something I would want to do. Those people are just people getting paid to do a job (although some of them get paid way too much). Those people don't hold any special meaning to me, they are not anyone important, yes they might be great actors, singers, authors or whatever it is they do but that doesn't make them fit into my world.

For me I would like to meet someone who is down to earth, who has lived a regular life and has learnt valuable lessons they can share with me. I have 'met' some people like that through scrapbook.com and these are the ones I would love to meet someday. I have met some wonderful people who have pulled me through some of the worst times of my life without even knowing they are doing it. Some of their insights have shown me new ways to look at old problems. Some of their jokes/stories have given me laughs that pulled me out of a slump even if only for the moment. I have learnt valuable lessons right along side of them, and have hopefully helped them with some of the lessons I have learnt on my own.

I would name names but I don't want to forget anyone, but you ladies know who you are the ones who have been there for me when I really needed you, even when you didn't know you were doing it. I have learnt so much from all of you and one day it would be amazing to see you in person and be able to get to know you a little better, to be able to see the places you speak of. To see your darling children/grandchildren and be able to put a person with those awesome pictures and scrapbook pages. To see craft rooms that create some of the best crafts I have ever seen. To talk about life and learn how to get through my life with my head held high. It is you ladies that one day I would like to meet.

Getting To Know Me

2009-08-24T10:29:00.007-06:00

Here is my answers to Sarah's getting to know you interview...

What are my favourite things to do other than blog and scrap?

Well anything that involves spending time with my children is great. I love hanging with my family (most of the time anyway). As they get older it is harder to get them all together to spend time as a family. This past week we all went away as a family (including my oldest son's girlfriend), it was an amazing week and I am so glad we got the chance to be together since Nathan is supposed to be moving away around Christmas time and we might not get a chance to do this stuff again.

I love camping and hiking especially in beautiful areas. I love looking at the amazing things that God has created and seeing just how beautiful the world can be. My husband grew up in one of the most beautiful areas I have ever seen in my life and we took the whole family down there on our vacation. We canoed across this most beautiful glacier lake...

I also like to paint, cross stitch and of course read...nothing better than a good book :) Lately I have tried to step outside of the box. I was reading crime books, true and fictional. Mostly I was reading adventure books, all had to be a who done it...but lately I have been trying to dig deep into myself and see if I can learn things from the books I read other than just entertain myself...some are great others not recommended :)

Where or who do you gain inspiration from?

My children are my inspiration for everything I do. I do everything thinking of what is best for them and with only their best interests at heart. I am not sure if that is a Mom thing or just me but they are my world and everything is about them. As for my scrapbooking they are my inspiration as well...always.

What do you like to do to relax?

With four kids relaxation is hard to find time to do. Usually the only way to get relaxation time in my house is to run a hot bath full of bubbles, take a book, lock the door and hide. Don't get me wrong I love to relax reading a good book but I hate the fact thta I have to run and hide to do it. I will never say that I hate it because before you know it my kids will be gone and I will have too much time to relax.

What is your favourite kind of music?

I don't really have a favourite, I like most kinds of music. My children are usually in control of the radio/ipod so I don't really have much say in what is going on most of the time. My house is usually very noisy, music coming from bedrooms, TV on, DS's going that music gets lost in the shuffle. Basically when I am driving is the only time I really listen to music and then it has to be something upbeat to keep me awake.

Do you have a scrap or creativity space?

I do digital scrapbooking so I don't really have a scrap space. I sit at my computer desk and work away.

What's your favourite food?

Well I would have to say chocolate...there is nothing better than chocolate. But if I have to discuss real food then it would be a tie between salad and seafood. I lived on the East coast of Canada for awhile and tried many different seafoods there and that has caused me to love them (except Lobster that stuff is crap sorry) but I love shrimp, scallops, muscles, crab, and all kinds of fish. Then there is salad there is nothing better than a good salad. I hate salad dressing, and don't like salads with dressings on them but a good vegetable salad without dressing is awesome.

Are you afraid of anything?

The death of my children. There is nothing that scares me more than having to bury one of my children. This is something no parent should have to live through and my heart goes out to any parent who has to do this. I could not imagine there being a greater pain than this.

Do you have a favourite TV show?

I don't get a chance to watch much TV as with four kids there is always someone trying to get in there and watch it. I loved crime dramas like CSI, Bones, Criminal Minds. I like House although I am not sure why...that man is so mean :) I also like Private Practice although it is mindless entertainment as well as 90210...I watched the original and had to see what they did to bring it back and got hooked on it :(

Do you collect anything?

I have lots of collections that my husband hates (they take up too much space) I have a teddy bear collection that my parents started when I was a child and I still add to it regularly. My latest addition is a biker puppy named 'Harley' that my son got me from Build-a-Bear. I have a doll collection as well, I have dolls that my parents bought for me when I was a child some silly little cheap dolls and even a cabbage patch doll from the year they hit the market. The most precious doll in my collection is the one my father picked out for me on his last Christmas shopping trip two weeks prior to his death. My latest addition to this collection is a little native doll I added from our recent trip to "Head Smashed-In Buffalo Jump". I also have a shot glass collection. I started this collection about 15 years ago, I am not really a spoon person and I wanted something to show all the places I have been so I started collecting shot glasses. The funny part is that I don't drink :) we even gave out shot glasses full of Hershey's hugs and kisses as a wedding gift :)

If you were sent to a desert island, and you could take 3 things what would they be?

Well first I would take my camera...have you ever seen a desert island that isn't one of the most beautiful places on earth :)

Second I would take a photo of my children because it would make the days seem less long to be able to see them everyday.

Lastly I would take a journal/pen so that I could keep track of what I did while I was there and stop myself from going crazy.

So this is me...what you see is what you get.

Who Stands Up For The Little People?

2009-08-11T17:17:00.005-06:00

This is my great-niece Rosalie...and poor Rosalie is caught between a set of battling parents. I live six hours away from my family so I don't know all that is going on but I can say this, my heart goes out to this poor baby. I am not going to go into finger pointing and name calling and all that because as I said I don't know all the details and as the old saying goes "there are three sides to every story; his, hers and the truth."

Right now we have a huge family triangle going on...the one side contains Rosalie's 'father' (my nephew Robert), Rosalie's grandfather and step-grandmother (my brother Albert and Gina), Rosalie's great-grandmother (my mother Carol), and now Rosalie's step-aunt (my brother's wife's daughter Jessica). Then the other side is Rosalie's mother (Autumn), Rosalie's Grandmother (Shelli). Hope this helps...

Since Rosalie was born there has been a battle between sides, Autumn and Shelli believe that as the mother and maternal grandmother they know the baby best and what is best for her. While Robert is being told by Albert, Gina and Carol that something isn't right with the baby. I have actually only seen her a few times, I met her when she was 2 months old, saw her again a month or so later, then about six weeks after that, but everytime I have seen her something has been off. I have seen this baby puke a whole bottle of formula across the room in 2 seconds flat. I have heard her scream for long periods of time to let out a large belch and be fine. So I tend to believe that there is something not quite right. But anyway the battle has been on for the past six months over who is the better parent, who knows the child best, who knows what to do with her and what not to do with her.

Well now it has gotten ugly...I won't go into details as I have said I don't know the whole story but basically Autumn and Robert broke up over issues pertaining to Rosalie. There was a doctors visit that one side is saying the other lied about, and that side is saying it was just discussing things while at the doctors it wasn't a planned thing...not taking sides. However because of the percieved lies the relationship has ended but now the baby is stuck in the middle being pulled in some many directions like 'strech armstrong'. Autumn feels that she is the mother and they can't take her baby away from her especially if they are filling her with drugs she doesn't need (oval and gripe water) and feeding her pablum before her system can digest it (she was given a tiny bit mixed with her bottle at 5 1/2 months old). Robert feels that Autumn is a horrible mother because she is going out partying all the time leaving the baby home with her mother who then in turns trust the baby with a 9 year old while she goes out looking for the partying mother. Either way the whole thing is no longer about what is best for baby Rosalie but which side is right. Mediation appointments have been made, and not attended. Court papers have been served but no one attends. We continue to fight. Then Autumn decides well the baby isn't yours I lied to you and you are not entitled to my baby...as I said all about me winning not about the baby.

So my qusetion is this...who stands up for that poor defenseless baby? I love her as she is my niece but I am not attached to her the way everyone else is as I have only seen her 3-4 times so that might make me the most impartial person in all of this but she is suffering. The parents, grandparents, aunts that she has known are being pulled away from her and then thrust back at her. The poor baby no longer knows what end is up...the worst part is that this will never end. I have seen this type of fighting for control before, it is never about the kids it is about being the one who controls the shots and the child is always the victim. And of course when you try to talk to the parents they can't see your point and assume you are just taking sides. And everyone is trying to recruit people onto their side, but in all of this there is only one side that matters...the side of that defenseless baby.

Right now all I can do is stand back and hope that all goes well, since I don't live there I am not really involved and honestly I prefer it that way. But my heart is breaking. Not for the end of my nephew's relationship because honestly I never saw it lasting in the first place. I am hurting for the breaking of a home. I am hurting for that poor baby who's world has been turned upside down and will never be the same again. Someone has to stand up for the little people, I just wish it was her parents.

The Reader

2009-08-10T13:36:00.005-06:00

I have to admit this was one of the weirdest books I have ever read. I missed something when reading the back of it that informed me it was written post WW2 and by a German author. I thought I was reading a love story...well it was but man was it weird. The book is written by a lawyer who at the age of 15 falls ill with hepatitis and gets involved with a woman in her thirties. The first part of the book is about their weird love affair, and strangely written but easy to read. Then you move on to the second part which is about the trail he attends and finds her at...I won't give details as that would give too much away...but the trail is Nazi War Crimes trial and the book takes a very strange turn from here. Now we move on to the last part of the book which is mostly his wondering why his life is the way it is and how much his relationship with her has determined the course of his life.

I wouldn't say this was a bad book as it made you think and that was what I was looking for but it was definetly different. It was a relatively quick read if that is what you are looking for...once you get into it.

Anyway there were some parts that I enjoyed and this is one of them..."Why does it make me so sad when I think back to that time? Is it yearning for past happiness. Is it the knowledge of what came later, and that what came out afterwards had been there all along? Why? Why does what was beautiful suddenly shatter in hindsight because it concealed dark truths? Why does the memory of years of happy marriage turn to gall when our partner is revealed to have had a lover all those years? Because such a situation makes it impossible to be happy? But we were happy! Sometimes the memory of happiness cannot stay true because it ended unhappily. Because happiness is only real if it lasts forever? Because things always end painfully if they contained pain, conscious or unconscious, all along? But what is unconscious, unrecognized pain? " by Bernhard Schlink

This is the type of thought provoking rants he goes on in several places in the book but this one really hit me with all that is going on in my life this past few weeks. What is happiness and is it something we can ever fully achieve. And if we do achieve true happiness is it something that disappears when it isn't there to remind us anymore. I am not sure that I would recommend this book but I wouldn't say it was horrible either just for these parts. It really made me think about love, happiness, anger, guilt and fear. He does have some valid points even though a lot of them are written like you are at a psychiatrists office and he is just asking you all kinds of questions without giving you answers.

What Kind of Salad...

2009-08-10T12:33:00.003-06:00

You Are a Ceasar Salad

You are very popular and easy to love. You strike a cord with people.
You are friendly and careful not to offend anyone. You try hard to get along.

And while you may avoid controversy, you are still very sincere. People love that about you.
You are dependable and steady. With you, what you see is what you get.

What Kind of Salad Are You?

First I want to say that I don't like Ceasar Salad it is my least favourite salad and I am a salad lover. I don't like dressings on my salad though and Ceasar is one that needs dressing. Most people put way too much dressing on Ceasar salad and I don't like the taste of it...so it isn't one I eat often.

That being said let's get on with what a Ceasar salad person is :) I am not popular by no means...I never have been popular. I always make 'friends' with people in that they think I am great and are willing to talk to me when they are with me, but when it comes to making arrangements for other times it never happens. I remember once when I was about 23-24 being very depressed and looking for someone to hang out with just to put me in a better mood, I called every one of my friends in my book...which at the time was probably about 6-8 people, and every single one of them were busy and unavailable to me. This is the story of my life, lots of friends that are there if you want to come to them, or there when you are out in a group, or your friend when you see them at the grocery store, but don't have the time of day for you when you need a friend. So I guess that questions the easy to love aspect as well.

I do go out of my way to not offend people, I think mostly because I so desperately want friends that I struggle to ensure once I get one that I don't lose them. Also I think that is the way people are, they want you to just agree with them no matter what so that they feel better about themselves, and I tend to tell people what I think they want to hear to avoid conflict. Only my true friends the ones I know will not be offended by my opinion do I ever tell the whole truth, and of course my best friends are the ones that are brutally honest with me as well.

Sincerity is difficult to do when you are trying to make people happy but my motto is not to lie, if what I have to tell you is not how I truly feel then I will not tell you that. I will tell people things that will make them happy but I won't lie to them. I will struggle to find a good truth in everything and if I can't then I will say nothing.

I have been told I am dependable before, that I can always be counted on and I think unfortunately people take advantage of that in my life. People know that if I say I will do something for them I will do it so they ask me to do things that they don't want to do for themselves knowing that I will do it.

So I guess as much as I don't like Ceasar salad the description of one is pretty much me :)

Life Is Full Of Expectations

2009-08-06T11:36:00.007-06:00

This past week I have learnt a very valuable lesson about expectations. Almost 20 years ago I married a guy whom I had dated off and on for the previous 5 years. Within the first year of marriage we had our first child, our second 4 years later and 2 years after taht our marriage was over. For the next 9 years we could hardly speak to each other and then after some long discussions we rekindled our relationship, and 2 years ago we were married again.

Many people think this is a fairytale story and are so happy to see that love prevails all...unfortunately I have to say that our relationship is far from a fairytale, and you are probably asking why, well there are a couple of things that happen in every relationship that no matter how hard you work on seem to peek up their ugly head...that is expectations, fear and of course the emotional baggage. In this post I just want to talk about the expectations.

"Expectations have a lot to do with commitment. If your expectations include the fantasy of a perfect person or a perfect relationship, your commitment may wane when reality sets in. If you expect others to change in order to live up to your expectations, you may feel justified in giving up on your commitment when that doesn't happen." Jane Nelsen

Every one enters a relationship with expectations, whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship we all want certain things from that relationship. But where do we come up with the expectations we have, from our original family, aka our parents; from our friends and now a days I am sure TV and movies have a huge role in expectations. I think every one enters a relationship hoping for the perfect spouse, the perfect fairytale marriage and of course many of us are dissapointed. Thus is the case with my first marriage...we were 20 years old and had no idea what to expect out of marriage. When you date someone for awhile you get to know them but nothing prepares you for living with them day in and day out. So no matter how much you love that person you have no idea what you are in for when you start living together...and of course every one expects the person they live with to be like them. If you are a clean freak you expect your spouse to be the same, and it isn't really that you expect your spouse to be a slob if you are but you don't expect them to get upset for having to clean up after you. I find that our mother's have the greatest role in forming our expectations, for girls if your mother was the type to wait hand and foot and keep a spotless home then you will either expect to be waited on or you will be just like her waiting on others. The same goes for the boys as if they were waited on they may expect that from their wives.

I learnt from my first marriage that expectations have a huge role in your relationship, if you and your spouse find that once you start to live together that you don't meet up to each others expectations things start to get difficult. For my first marriage my husband expected a stay at home wife that cooked and cleaned and looked after the children, and this was all foreign to me. His mother and step-mother had been 'clean freaks' and whether they worked or not the house was spotless and the kids were cared for and the father was just there to bring home the money and play with the kids, therefore this is what he expected. For me my mother was similar...wasn't so much a clean freak...but she kept the house tidy, looked after the kids and so on...therefore never teaching me how to do these things just doing them for me, so when I got married I had no idea how to cook, clean and look after children. So right off the bat we had issues with expectations becuase it is difficult to meet up to someone's expectations when you don't have the knowledge required. But the worst part of this difficulty is that these expectations were never voiced. He never told me this is what he expected of me he just got upset because his dream of the perfect marriage was ruined. Now don't get me wrong I had expectations of him as well, but this isn't about pointing fingers...I just wanted to show this part of the expectations as it is very common.

As years go on you start to build up resentments towards the people who don't fulfill your expectations of them, this isn't just in marriage. We get angry when our boss doesn't behave the way we think he should, or shows favourtism in the office, or we don't get the promotion we feel we deserve...all because we went into our job with expectations that weren't filled. We expect things out of our parents, both when we are living with them and after, and when they don't visit their grandchildren as often as you think they should, or they spend more time with your sibling than with you resentment roles in because once again you had expectations that are not being filled. The one that hurts the most I think is with children, so many of us have expectations for our children, we want them to behave a certain way, we want them to achieve certain things and when they don't meet up to the standards we have set for them we are disappointed...and this isn't fair to these children.

I struggle with expectations every day...as a daughter, mother, wife and friend I know that people expect things from me. Most days I feel I fall short of these expectations, I know that I can't be everything for everyone and I know that at times that is what is expected of me. I also know that I have expectations for the people in my life, some of them I am aware of and some of them are burried deep inside and I don't really know they are there until I start to feel disappointed in that person. As a woman who has been married and divorced, has children from two different relationships, married to a man who has children from a different relationship I have emotional baggage and fears for my life that also affect the expectations I have out of people. The more people you throw into the pot the harder it becomes to meet the expectations of them all as welll as the amount of expectations out of you increases. I have found though as I have gotten older, and I am not sure if it because of my age or the fact that so many people have let me down that I have started letting go of some of my expectations. I don't expect as much from some people, I can't be hurt by them if I expect nothing of them and as I am sure this isn't the right answer either it helps to lesson the pain.

So for the bottom line with expectations is this quote from Positive Discipline for the Blended Family by Jane Nelsen "There is nothing wrong with having fears and expectations; we get ourselves in trouble when we are unaware of them, or choose not to talk about them."

From the Mouth of Babes, Part I My Future Rock Star

2009-08-05T19:28:00.002-06:00

I recently did a challenge in which I was supposed to write the things that cracked me up and I couldn't remember specifics so I thought I would start a post about the funny things my 5 year old says that cracks me up :)

So here is the first story...my son has been exceptionally well behaved this past week so when his dad and I went shopping I told him I would bring him something. Now remember like all children he has more toys than he knows what to do with, he isn't really an artsy fartsy kind of kid, and the video games he likes to play are expensive. So I had to be creative in what I brought back. Oh ya and he isn't allowed candy and chocolate :) So we went into a music store for my husband to look at guitars and while we were in there they had plastic harmonicas in there and thought I bet he would like that, so I picked him up one. When I told him I had something for him he wanted to know what it was, I gave him a hint saying it made music.

Well he made some guesses, whistle; drum sticks; piano; guitar. I loved the fact that he thought I bought him a piano for being good. Anyway the next morning he got his harmonica and he loved it, he walked around the house playing it for anyone who wanted to listen. Of course he can't play anything 'real' but he can make some nice sounding songs with it...he tells me that a harmonica is something you don't play songs on you create songs with.

But later that day we were talking about his request for a piano. First I wanted to know if he seriously wanted a piano and if he thought I could afford to buy him one. The conversation was so funny because he was so serious, like of course I have the money to buy him a real piano. And then he cracked me up by sternly telling me that if I was to buy him a piano it would go in his room of course. Of course what was I thinking there is room in a preschoolers room for all their toys and a piano right :)

My son has an amazing talent for music and makes an instrument out of anything I hope that one day he gets that piano in his room...but first he needs a bigger room ;)

Dream, Dream, Dream

2009-08-05T19:10:00.003-06:00

I have seen and heard people reading books that analize their dreams trying to figure out the hidden meaning behind what the dream is trying to tell them. If you dream about unicorns it means; or if you dream about waterfalls it means... I am not sure if I truly believe that every person that dreams of a unicorn has the same meaning but still they read these books hoping to find the hidden meaning. I wonder if there is a hidden meaning? I have been told that your dreams are just your brain trying to sort through all the information you have given it in the day. I have also been told that your dreams are your brains way of telling you what you need to remember when you are conscious.

I rarely remember my dreams, I am sure I have them as most people do but I don't wake up in the morning thinking "that was a strange or interesting dream, wonder what it means?" Every once in awhile I do remember a dream, but it isn't so much the dream I remember as the premise of the dream. If I am startled awake, perhaps my youngest calls out and I wake with a start I will awaken thinking that the images in my head are strange. Usually when I have this happen to me it is very weird things going on in my head that make no sense to me...once I awoke and all the 'men' that had been in my life were all together. I have had four major relationships in the past 20 years and all four of these men were present as was my father who had been dead for about 5 years at the time of the dream. I don't remember what they were doing, I don't remember what the discussion was in the dream, all I remember is waking up thinking "what the heck are those five people doing together, especially since one is no longer with us?"

Some times I think it would be great to remember what I dream to know if there is some hidden message my brain is trying to send to me while I am asleep but I am sure it would be just as confussing as trying to figure out why those five men were in the same place at the same time :)

Things That Make Me Go Ha! Ha! Ha!

2009-08-04T17:56:00.008-06:00

There are two things that really make me chuckle every day and that is my son and daughter. These two children are never afraid to be themselves, they love to make people laugh and they love to smile. All my children have been blessed with smiles that light up their whole faces (of course when they really smile) and they are so adorable when they do. Some of the things these two do they don't even realize how funny they are. The other day my son came out wearing this outfit...he thought he was just being practical and didn't have a clue why his sister and I were laughing so hard. On his head he was wearing a blindfold his sister brought home with big hearts on it, a bathrobe and a red belt he found lying around...it was quite the outfit :)

He makes some of the best comments that just kill you, I really should write some of them down :) Usually they are things he says that he is serious about and has no idea that the rest of the group finds them funny. He such a sweet and kind hearted person and so serious some times. I think I will start writing down some of the funny things he says and post them.

My daughter is just like her brother she is her own person some of the things she does just crack me up. She does some kind of 'stuid' things...she used to say they were her blonde moments but her hair isn't really blonde anymore :) Some of the things she finds funny I don't agree with as she has a rather strange sense of humour but the things she does make me laugh. This picture for instance was taken a couple of years ago and I have a big ribbon from a gift from a friend and she decided she should tie it in her hair...she looked like a big present, and she insisted we take pictures so she could use them as her profile. I thought she looked so silly but she was like, 'this is me and I want pictures'. As she gets older she tends to be less and less herself and more and more what her friends want to her to be but daily she finds ways to crack me up.

I have four children and life here is one issue after another and it is easy to get caught up in the stress of the things the kids are doing but it is impossible not to stop and laugh at them when they are doing these silly things. I hope that neither one of them ever lose that spirit within them, and I am sure they will never stop making me laugh.

Added: here is the first thing my son said since I posted this that cracked me up.

He hobbled over to me at my computer desk saying that his leg hurt...here is how the conversation went:

Mom: what is wrong?

Connor: My leg hurts

M: what happened?

C: I was battling on the game and when I stepped it went crack

M: Well you know what that means, it means that you are old, because only old people's bones crack. What should we do?

C: I don't know

M: I know we should send you to live in a senior's building because that is where they send the old people

C: No I am not old

M: Are you sure you are not old, you are 5 already and your bones are cracking?

C: No, I still have hair on me so I can't be old :)

December 31, 2009

2009-08-04T13:22:00.002-06:00

I have been trying to make goals for myself for many years and I have started them over and over again, and I still haven't accomplished them. But this time I have decided enough is enough and I am going to change my life.

Right now my life is in a very stressful state, my 2 year marriage to a man I have been with off and on for over 20 years (our first wedding anniversary is Dec 14/09 and that would be our 20th) is in a downward spirial. My relationship with my children is strained to say the least, my oldest son (19) is planning on moving away in January 2010 and I dread the fact for I know he won't be home to visit very often. My 15 year old daughter is afraid to talk to me because she is afraid of my yelling and bad temper. My 10 year old step daughter and I have a child-babysitter relationship, one in which I have very little to do with her and leave all the decisions about her for her father. My youngest starts school next month and things have gotten difficult with him. I am always stressed out and unfortunately I am a stress eater...

I have decided that this is not healthy and I must do something to change it. I have been reading a lot lately on positive discipline and am trying to work on my mood swings so that I can be a better mother to my children. I am trying to reduce my stress levels so that my relationships will improve and so will my health. I have decided I need to exercise, try yoga and other stress relieving techniques and I need to control my temper.

So my Dec 31, 09 I want to have accomplished a stress reduced lifestyle for me and my family. There is no way to remove all stress from my household we have four children, and with six people in the house there is always going to be some kind of stress. My goal is to have implimented a new discipline method that will hopefully reduce the stress, and in turn will reduce my stress eating, which in turn will help me in health matters. It might not seem like a big accomplishment but I think taking this one little step will cause a huge chain reaction in my home...here's hoping I can get this one done :)

It is better to have Faith

2009-08-04T13:07:00.003-06:00

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word Faith is my precious baby girl...well she isn't a baby anymore but still :) When I was pregnant with her we were certain we were having a boy. My husband's family had very few girls and his brother had a daughter born just a few months before so we were certain we wouldn't get a girl. Through out my pregnancy we bopped between "Jordyn" and "Rhyan" for boys names and never discussed girls names. We had a 3 1/2 year old son and could have used the names we had choosen for him...at one point my husband said if we had a girl he wanted to call her Ariel...I said sure since we weren't having a girl. Well the doctor said it was a girl and we were both shocked and asked "A what?". Then came the difficult task of picking a name for this little angel. Since I had agreed to Ariel that was what he wanted to call her :( I really didn't like the name so out of spit I picked some names I liked and knew he hated, I gave him a choice between Jessika, Jenifer and Jacqualin, all of which I knew he didn't like. He decided on Jenifer...so we now had Jenifer Ariel (but she would go by Ariel) we needed one more. So I suggested Hope or Faith, and his response was "It is better to have Faith than Hope" so we had a name for our precious little angel, Jenifer Ariel Faith.

Faith is a big word in my mind, it means believing in something you can't see, touch or feel. You have to blindly believe that things will work out for the best. Faith doesn't always mean believing in a higher power, sometimes it means having faith in other people. I have a difficult time with this as I am one of those types of people who likes to see everything in front of me. It is hard for me to believe that if I just sit back that things will all fall into place. In Al-Anon they teach you to 'Live and Let Live' which means to let things be and have faith that they will all turn out the way they are supposed to...this is very hard for me. I don't know if it is because I am controlling or that I don't trust people but I have a hard time allowing things to just be.

Faith is something most people say they have but then do their best to control the situation so it works out the way they want it to, therefore they didn't have faith that it would work out they had faith that they could make it work out. I am one of those people, I must learn to have faith :)

Money, Money, Money

2009-08-03T20:14:00.002-06:00

I know that a lot of places are struggling at the moment, the world economy is sinking into a recession. I know that some people are worried about how they are going to make enough money to put food on the table for their children. And I know that people have lost jobs and many others are wondering if their job is secure...this post isn't about those people. This post is about the people who have money and want more.

It seems that no one is happy with the amount of money they have anymore, I am not sure if it is the "keeping up with the Jones's" mentality or if it is the selfishness of some people but it seems that some people are not happy unless they have it all. There are a couple of things that I noticed this weekend that really made me wonder about people. First was some people we know who were selling garbage bags to tourists when the rain started pouring down at the local air show...really you need the money that bad that you can't just give these poor people the garbage bag? I know that these people should have gone prepared for rain as it was very dark skies all day and forecast every where you looked called for rain, but still making them pay for your garbage bags is a bit much isn't it? Maybe it is just me, maybe I am a kinder person but still this really made me question people.

The second thing is I just finished a positive parenting book and they have a website, so I thought I would go check it out because I really liked the way this book was written and would like more information. I was amazed to see that they offered on-line parenting classes...$100USD for each class. Like really if you are truly concerned about our children and the way they are being raised why are you doing everything you can to make a fortune off of the parents who want to be better parents. I can understand that this is how they make their money but think about it for a bit there is probably 10 books in the positive parenting series and each are at least $20 a piece, then this woman does seminars and lectures which I am sure she is paid well for. There are CDs/DVDs and audio books, and then the online courses...this adds up to millions of dollars. And who is paying for this stuff, parents who are struggling to be better people and give their children a better life.

My question in all of this is most of these people are out there saying they are trying to help you, they are trying to make life better for you and for your children. But they are not they are only worried about leaving more money to their children. We are not poor but we are not wealthy either and I can't afford $100 a shot to take on line parenting courses no matter how much I think it is a great program and would love to try to learn to use it with my children. I can't afford $200 in books just to get all the information to become a better parent. I can understand the cost of CDs and Movie DVDs as the actors are getting paid and it is entertainment, I can even understand authors of most books but books that are supposed to help you be a better you really do they have to make so much money off of helping other people.

When did life become about making money and not about being a good person?

More Random Shots from the Lake

2009-07-24T10:25:00.015-06:00

Here are some random shots from the lake over the past few weeks...first we went out in the paddle boat and Connor decided to have a nap.

The first time Connor ever flew a kite, he had a blast. It was difficult to get a really good shot with him and the kite but these ones aren't too bad :)

Some shots of the kids swimming in the ice cold water... Connor was body surfing in the waves and it actually looks like there was a lot of water near him :)

Even got one of the husband :)

Typical teenager shot...reading I think that is all this kid does :)

Connor decided he should borrow her book...not really his kind of reading :)

When my mother in law and brother in law were in town this weekend we went out to the lake for a short while...the whole time it rained and Connor played with the umbrella.

That is it for this time, I am hoping to have a few more before the summer is over. Although the leaves are turning around here already so I don't know how much more summer we have :(

Change

2009-07-24T10:07:00.002-06:00

My friend Sam over at sb.com posted a list to her blog about the things she needed to do to make her life better. This was a wonderful list and it got me thinking, and of the 15 things she had listed I was agreement with most of them. So I thought that is what I should do create a list of things that I truly want to do to change my life and make it better...the hardest part for me is to follow through on the list, but I am sure going to try.

1. Loss weight: this is top on my list because I know that this is part of my exhaustion problems, I am not sleeping well because of my obessness (if that is a word) so this is important for all the other things on my list.

2. Exercise daily: now this is not just to lose weight but when I exercise I have more energy to do some of the other things on my list.

3. Spend more time with my children: lately because of my exhaustion I have been neglecting my children and I need to spend more quality time with them.

4. Deal with my issues: a lot of my childhood issues are taken care of but some of them linger to cause problems in my relationships with my husband and children and I need to fix that.

5. Journal more: I have been falling behind on my blog and my personal journal well I am not sure I can see the cover for the dust. Journaling helps me to understand how I feel and my therapist told me that the way I journal is very helpful...so better get on that again.

6. Positive Discipline: I am reading a book by Jane Nelsen that my mother in law gave me a few years ago (she found it and said I might want to read it or not, she had no idea what it was about but thought it would be helpful) well it is a great book and although it might be difficult to change the way I discipline my children I would really love to give this idea a try.

7. Take me time: I rarely take time for me other than to sleep in, and that isn't helping :( I need to take a few minutes a day to just be by myself doing something I like to do so that I can unwind.

8. Yoga: I have all the stuff and know it would help but I just haven't had the desire to get up early and do it :( I think I am going to try doing it in the evening to see if it will relax me and help me sleep.

9. Stop swearing and yelling: this is going to be hard, with bipolar I tend to have verbal diareha sometimes and words come out of my mouth before I even know they are coming but I am going to stop that.

10. Clean my house: this might sound like a given but I am a terrible housekeeper, don't get me wrong my house isn't unsanitary, but I do as little as possible. I pile things up until the pile is ready to fall over and then I put it all away. And the bad part to this is when people come to visit I have so much work to do. Plus a clean house will make my husband happy which in turn will make everyone else happy ;)

11. Continue reading: lately I have been reading different types of books, my norm is crime novels and such but lately I have been trying to read Christain fiction and books with a hidden meaning. I am trying to open my mind to thoughts that I know are there just need a little push...plus they teach me lessons that I need to know right now, and I think every little lesson I can learn will help me :)

12. Read my daily thought: I was part of Al-Anon a few years ago (for those that don't know it is a group for family and friends of alcoholics or anyone who has been affected by the drinking of someone close to them) from this group I learnt a lot about myself and alcoholism and I have a book that tells me a thought everyday that will help me learn more...I just have to read them ;)

13. Tell my family I love them: this is something we take for granted, just because we think our children know we love them doesn't mean they don't need to hear it.

14. Do some scrapbooking: this is something I have done very little of lately and I think I need to do more, it is something I love to do and not always stress free but greatly enjoyed.

15. Love Me: I think this will be the hardest one on the list, it is easy to love everyone else but it is hard to see past my own faults and love me...this one will really help.

So here is my list of ways to make my life a little better, and hopefully I will be able to stick to them :)

Music of My Life

2009-07-24T09:54:00.002-06:00

In my house I have six people and every one of those likes a different kind of music, my husband loves the classic rock from the 60s-80s; my son likes the same rock but the stuff now...you know the same songs being re-released by someone who thinks they are being original; my daughter changes her musical interests everyday, one day it is country the next pop; my youngest daughter likes what her older sister likes becauase she wants to be just like her; and the baby loves anything he can really rock to. That being said I hear so much music in a day that I really don't know what I like any more. If it isn't blaring from a cd player or ipod belonging to one of my children then it doesn't get listened to around here.

No don't get me wrong I like music, and listening to the radio every time I taxi the kids to and from their lives I get some song stuck in my head. I am usually going around the house humming some tune, the worst part is that I have no idea what it is that I am humming, or I have two or three lines from a song repeating over and over but can't remember the rest of the song. My daughter is bad for playing the same artist over and over so she will play five songs by Taylor Swift so often that if you ever hear them again you are going to scream, then she will switch to her favourite songs by Kelly Clarkson and play them till you are ready to scream. Music is a big part of our life in that there is always some playing, and I mean always :) It is so bad that my 5 year old says "it's too quiet in here" when there is no music playing while we are eating dinner. Now I am not going to say that all the music that is playing is good, but it is music. And some times it is just the theme song to whatever video game is being played :)

So I guess the question is what is my favourite song? That is a good question because I really don't think I have one, there are many songs out there right now that I like and a few that I am not that fond of the song but love the lyrics. The worst part is I usually hear it on the radio and don't know who sings it or anything until I hear it again and hope the DJ tells me what song it is :( So I guess with all the music in my life I don't have one song that sits as my favourite right now.

Calgary '88

2009-07-23T23:49:00.002-06:00

Birthdays were never a big deal in my house we never really celebrated them. It didn't matter if it was a big birthday or a little birthday it wasn't a big deal. We usually got a card and sometimes a cake...since my brother's birthday was one week after mine we usually shared a cake. We my 18th birthday was no different than any other, it was 1988 and I was 18 big deal.

It wasn't my best year, I was in grade 12 and struggling to make it through, which I didn't do and a few months after my 18th birthday I pull out of school all together. Since I missed so much school my friends stopped including me in things and I started feeling I had lost my place in the world. So 18 was a rough year for me, not my first and definetely not my last but a rough one.

Although 18 wasn't a good year for me, 1988 was a good year for Alberta...the Olympics came to Calgary. Since the school board knew that most kids would be skipping to attend the events only an hour away they gave us the week off of school. My birthday was three days prior to the opening ceremonies, so I got a special birthday vacation :) We didn't actually go to the Olypmics, not enough money and my parents weren't really sports fans but it was great knowing they were so close by. A few of my classmates and friends went to some of the events and I am sure it was quite the experience.

The coolest part of this whole experience was running with the torch. Two of my church friends Karen and Julie (they were sisters) were able to run with the torch run. They ran about 3 hours from where we lived and we all drove down to watch them and run a bit with them. What an experience!! In 2010 the Olympics are coming to Vancouver, British Columbia and the torch is running through our town, my daughter Ariel's name is on the list and we are hoping she gets chosen to run with the torch...an experience she will never forget :)

Graduation Photos

2009-07-21T14:11:00.009-06:00

I finally got some, I am so excited :) My son graduated from high school this year and he didn't want to participate in any of the pomp and circumstance of graduation, opting out of everything including photographs. His girlfriend who graduated last year hired a professional photographer to take her formal shots and allowed me to tag along. Since I didn't want to get in the way I didn't get a lot of photos but I got a few. Other than he seriously needs a haircut I think they look great, but I might be biased :)

First was the shots of the two of them...I love the look of this one

I wasn't at the best angle for this one but I think it still turned out nicely

I am not very impressed with this shot, hopefully the photographers turned out better

Then she took a couple shots of just Nathan, I again was at a bad angle for this one, but I am sure her's are great

I really like the pose of this one...totally Nathan

Then it was time to become more comfortable...while they were still snapping shots of Joelle and her friend I snapped a couple more casual of Nathan...this one with Ollie our dog

Then some casual shots of the two of them...this one is nice, I like how Nathan's hair is blowing in the wind.

I love this next shot, it is so natural...their looks and everything are so normal

This last one is just a nice shot...

I think the pictures turned out quite well considering I was just a tag along and trying to stay out of the way...I can't wait to see the professional photos :)

Summer memories...Part I South Shore Drive

2009-07-13T19:25:00.011-06:00

Summer is a time that most people travel, they go to far away places that they have been saving for all year. It would take me many years to save up enough money to go to any of these places so I have never gone. That doesn't mean I haven't been to some great places but I have never really gone far from home. But as I sit and try to think of my favourite summer time memory I have a hard time deciding. Every place I have gone has been with it's down side but every trip has brought great memories. It is hard for me to decide my favourite so I will post a few posts of some of my favourite summer trips and some of the places I am glad I have gone during the summer.

In the summer of 1990 my mother in law came to visit us while we were living in Nova Scotia. Since we had only been there a year we decided to see the sights...remember I was 7 months pregnant and it was hot :) We travelled all up the coast of Nova Scotia going from Digby to Halifax and every where in between. There are some amazing sights driving down the coast of Nova Scotia. So here is a bit of a Canadian history lesson for you...

Peggy's Cove...The community is named after the cove of the same name. Peggy being a nickname for Margaret, and the village may have taken its name from St. Margaret's Bay upon which it is situated. Local folklore has several alternative origins for the name. Some people claim Peggy was an early settler. Others say she was a young survivor of a shipwreck who remembered nothing of her life before her rescue; not even her name but was given the name Peggy by the family who adopted her.

Peggy's Cove has a classic red and white lighthouse still operated by the Canadian Coast Guard. The light station is situated on an extensive granite outcrop at Peggy's Point, immediately south of the village and its cove. The lighthouse is one of the most photographed structures in Atlantic Canada and one of the most recognizable lighthouses in the world.

The lighthouse contains a Canada Post office on the lower level and during the summer it serves as the village post office where you can send post cards that are stamped with a special cancellation mark in the shape of a light house. This is the post card I sent to our house from that post office (stamps are now .57 cents)

Lunnenburg...is commonly known as the prettiest town in Canada. Lunnenburg is the birthplace of the world famous Bluenose and Bluenose II. The bluenose is a award winning schooner that was launched from Lunnenburg March 1921. Bluenoser is the nickname given to Nova Scotians from the late eighteenth century. This boat has such a big place in Canadian history that it is pictured on the Canadian dime.

Lunnenburg is a beautiful place and you can walk along the dock and take tours from teh shipbuilding center.

Mahone bay...another beautiful town along the coast of Nova Scotia. Across the harbour you can see a beautiful sight of the Anglican. Lutheran and United Churches lined up...

If you travel far enough down the South shore you will end up in Halifax. The story of Halifax is the explosion of 1917. A French cargo ship fully loaded with wartime explosives accidently collided with teh Norwegian SS Imo and exploded. Halifax was devastated it was estimated that 2000 people were killed and over 9000 were injured (remember this is 1917 and today the population of Halifax in 2001 was 119,292). There are many attractions in Halifax and a few of my favourites were,

St. Paul's Anglican Church...it is the oldest Protestant place of worship in Canada, founded by King George II in 1749.

Citadel Hill...is a glacial drumlin (a little hill ridge) located on the Halifax Peninsula measuring approx 80 metres about sea level and give an amazing view of the entrance to the Halifax harbour. Fort George is built on this citadel. The town clock is one of the most recognizable landmarks in the historic urban core of Halifax. The idea of this clock is credited to Prince Edward, Duke of Kent who arranged to have the clock to be manufactured before his retun to England in 1800. The clock tower is a three-tiered irregular octagon tower built atop a one storey white clapboard building. The clock is 4 sided displaying Roman numerals and the number 4 is shown as IIII.

So if you ever get the chance to travel and take in the beauty of nature a trip down Nova Scotia's South Shore :)

Random Photos From the Lake

2009-07-13T18:57:00.008-06:00

We finally got some weather that we could head out to the lake and Ariel's friend who was moving away came out to join us for the night. Ariel didn't know if she would ever see her friend again so she asked me to take some photos for her. The sun was very bright and I did my best, of course they were so goofy it was hard to get a good one...

Then the younger kids wouldn't stay out of the way...

While we were at it I thought we would try some shots of the kids...of course we were out camping so we aren't in our Sunday best :)...

I am not sure why Ariel is so serious but she looks terribly grumpy here :(...

Not a bad shot of Brittany...

And Connor refused to pose for me, but I got one earlier in the day...

How Can I Help You Say Goodbye?

2009-07-13T17:56:00.002-06:00

Through the back window of a '59 wagon

I watched my best friend Jamie slippin' further away

I kept on waving 'till I couldn't see her
And through my tears, I asked again why we couldn't stay
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

I sat on our bed, he packed his suitcase
I held a picture of our wedding day
His hands were trembling, we both were crying
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away
I called up Mama, she said, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

Sitting with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, I have to go now, my time here is over
And with her final word, she tried to help me understand
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

How can I help you to say goodbye?
Patty Loveless

I have had to say goodbye a lot in my life and it is something that has never been easy for me to do. Over my life I have lost friends every time one or the other of us has to move in a different direction in our lives. When I was a child I was very close to my cousins Teresa, Sherry, Geni and my Aunt Tracy (she is a year younger than I am). When my parents moved we always seemed to bop between my grandmother's and my aunts houses and I would spend a lot of time with these two people. When I was nine and we moved to Alberta I tried very hard to keep in touch but it is hard for 8-9 year old girls to stay in touch in a way that won't change your relationship. My family grew and moved on without me, and I have been envious over the years at the relationships of these family members that don't include me. We are all in our late 30s, early 40s now and have children of our own...the sad part is because of the distance between us we all know very little about each other and their children :(

I had two other cousins Mary and Teri (sisters) that I was close to as well and when I moved to Alberta they were already there so we continued our relationship. Mary was atleast 5 years older than I was so we weren't as close as we got older...what teenager wants a little kid hanging around her and her friends :) And when we were 12 their parents divorced and their mother moved to British Columbia taking Teri with her. We tried to keep in touch but once again life went on and we drifted apart. Teri went through some very trying times when her oldest daughter was born with heart problems and had to be flown to Montreal, Quebec as a baby for open heart surgery...but I wasn't there for her (because I lived too far away) and over the years we drifted apart.

Two years ago my last biological grandparent died and I hadn't seen here since 1982...sad to admit that, although she never made an effort to see me or my family either, I could have made a greater effort :( Unfortunately this is the case with many of my family and it saddens me to say that so many of them will pass away and I will not have seen them for many years.

I have lost many friends over the years as well, moving to Alberta I lost many friends. After moving I had friends that moved away and then I moved away. I lost my best friend in school three different times. In 1981 my best friend Haille's parents divorced and she moved away. In 1985 my best friend Dawn moved when her father was sent to minister at a different church. In 1989 I moved away leaving behind my best friend Nadine. It is difficult for a child to make new friends but to find a new best friend is always so difficult.

When I moved at the age of 19 I joined my husband in a military community...well anyone who doesn't know what this is like, a friend of mine once said "I don't want to make new friends because my husband will get posted and it will hurt too much." This is pretty much the way it is in these communities, you are posted out often and you never know how long you will be in one place. I lost many friends this way :( My best friend Tammy is still my best friend even though I haven't seen her since 1996 when we both divorced our military husbands and moved back to our home towns. It is really hard to make friends when you know that tomorrow they could move.

Right now my children are going through this as their friends are being posted away. My husband is no longer in the military and it is pretty certain that we will live here for atleast another 10 years but their friends will come and go. My daughter lost her best friend at the begining of grade 7 because she decided to go to a different school, then at the end of grade 8 when her best friend was posted away, and just today her best friend left. Rumour has it that at the end of this year her other best friend will leave as well. My heart goes out to her and I wish I could help her as I know how difficult it is to say goodbye.

The hardest part of saying goodbye is when you know it is forever. I know people who think that saying goodbye doesn't mean forever and that one day you might see these people again...and this is true but rarely when you say goodbye does that person ever come back into your life, and if they do it is never the same. But saying goodbye to those who leave us forever is the most difficult but no matter what I hope that I always get a chance to say goodbye. My father passed without that option as did my sister-in-law and not being able to tell them that you love them one last time hurts more than anything else.

Well I have babbled on enough as you can see it doesn't matter how often you have to say goodbye it never gets easier :(

Somebody's Watching Me.... :)

2009-07-13T13:33:00.007-06:00

And (I always feel like)

(Somebody's watching me)

And I have no privacy

Whooooa-oh-oh

(I always feel like)

(Somebody's watching me)

Tell me, is it just a dream

~~Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell

If I could be a fly on the wall I think I would want to follow my 15 year old daughter Ariel around for the day...sometimes I wonder if this is a good idea but I am curious. As a mother you always want to know that your child is safe and that they are not doing things while they are out with their friends that you would consider questionable. It isn't that I don't trust my children I just wonder if I would be able to get a better understanding of what makes them behave the way they do if I could follow them around for a bit and see how things are in their lives. Yes I know it is hard to believe but I was a 15 year old girl once but things are so different now than they were when I was a teenager.

Ariel and I have lived very different lives but they have put us in very similar places. My parents stayed married although they were very unhappy...her parents divorced when she was 2 and remarried when she was 13. My father was an alcoholic and rarely around...her father has issues with alcohol through the years and was living with a woman who was an alcoholic and was a terrible 'mother' to her. I moved regularly up until I was 9 and had to change friends every year...she lives in a military community and although she has been in the same place since she was 2 her friends have come and gone over the years. We are very similar people but yet totally different. I understand that parts that make us similar, it is the differences that I would love to follow her around and see what makes her tick. I would never want to be 15 again, but to see what it would be like to be 15 now would be interesting.

I try to be a good mother, one that understands what my children are going through even though I don't always understand most of it. My daughter is a very complex person and her friendships are totally different than the ones I had as a teenager and that is the part that I totally don't understand about her. If I could spend a day following her around I might be able to get a better understanding of her relationships. I think the hardest part of being a parent is allowing your child to make their own friends and decide who they want to date. I sit and see her friends and wonder why would you want to be friends with that person? See the people she dates and wonder what do you see in him? It is hard to sit back and say you have to do what is best for you, even though as a parent you think you know much more than they do :) I would love to spend a few days following her around...of course she could never know I was there or she would hide stuff from me. But I would love to see how she is when I am not around and see if she is okay, and that her relationships are healthy.

I am sure she is fine but it would be great to be able to follow her around :)

99 Things

2009-07-09T11:06:00.011-06:00

My friend Kat directed me to another blog with a challenge, I am not a paper scrapper so I wasn't interested in the challenge but I thought the list was cool so I thought I would give it a try :) Read the list and mark off the things that you have done

1. Started your own blog

I guess so since that is where you are :)

2. Slept under the stars

I have done this with cadets sleeping in a lean to

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

It is on my list :)

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

I wish I could say yes to this one

7. Been to Disneyland/world/Paris

8. Climbed a mountain

I have done this a few times and the view is amazing

9. Held a praying manti

10. Sang a solo

When I was 12 at the Christmas Concert I sang 'What Child is This' I missed a few lines and no one knew they thought I did it on purpose...there was at least 300 people in the gym and I was scared to death

11. Bungee jumped

never

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightening storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

I guess this depends on what you mean by art

15. Adopted a child

I have a step daughter but I will never adopt her as her mother would never allow it

16. Had food poisoning

No thankfully

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

Yes and I wish my yard was big enough to grow them now

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

When I moved to Alberta in 1979 we took the train...so for three nights I slept on a train

21. Had a pillow fight

Of course what are sleepovers for :)

22. Hitch hiked

My mother would kill me

23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill

Shhh!! don't tell anyone

24. Made a snow angel

I live in the frozen North...pretty sure I have done this a time or two :)

25. Held a lamb

Does petting one count

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Ran a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

I would never want to miss something this beautiful

31. Stood in the rim of the Grand Canyon

32. Been on a cruise

One to Alaska is on my list

33. Seen Niagara Falls

Grew up in Ontario but never been there :(

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

My parents yes, anyone else no

35. Seen an erupting volcano

36. Taught yourself a new language

Learnt French in school

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo's David

41. Sung karaoke

Have all the sing star games out there :)

42. Seen Old Faithful erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restuarant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

Every time I can

46. Been transported by ambulance

Yes and remember if you have to travel far they are horrible and if they offer you gravol take it :)

47. Had your portrait painted

Not a portrait persay...put a characture

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkelling

52. Kissed in the rain

Helps when you live someone where it is always raining

53. Played in the mud

Mud pies are the best

54. Gone to a drive in theatre

Many times, love em

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

We don`t have these where I live

61. Sold Cookies for charity

Many many cases for Girl Guides

62. Gone whale watching

On my list to do

63. Been given flowers for no reason

Yes but I am not a huge flower fan

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

Can`t I am anemic

65. Gone sky diving

No way

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check

Unfortunately

68. Flown in a helicopter

Been in one but never flown

69. Saved a favourite childhood toy

Yes and my husband wishes I would get all the

bears out of the house

70. Visited Buckingham Palace

71. Eaten Caviar

Many other weird things like cod tongue or cod cheeks but not caviar

72. Pieced a quilt or blanket

I have knitted blankets

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

Unfortunately...once I was fired because I was freaking out the other employees because I couldn`t forget that I was robbed on the job :(

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

Sprained them all but never broke one

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

Well I don`t know if it was speeding but it was moving fast to me

79. Been to the top of the Empire State Building

80. Published a book

I can`t write to save my life :)

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

It had all of 3 kms on it when I drove it off the lot :)

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

Several times, this one is just one that ended up there...I am the one in the front row with the crazy hair

85. Read the entire Bible

lots of it but not all of it

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

That is what the man is for ;)

88. Had chicken pox

I believe so

89. Saved someone's life

Not that I am aware of

90. Sat on a jury

I hope I never have to as I am a bad judge of character

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

a few

93. Lost a loved one

My sister in law almost 20 years ago, and my father almost 7 years ago

94. Had a baby

three to be exact

Nathan 1990

Ariel 1994

Connor 2004

95. Seen the Alamo

96. Swam in Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

A new one every couple of years

99. Been stung by a bee

Not in a long time but yes

31/99 that doesn't seem like a great record ;(