Parenting: It Isn't As Easy As It Looks

Sitting down thinking back to before I had children I realized just how niave I was. I used to think that having children would be easy. I wouldn't do anything the way my parents did it. I could do this after all how hard could it be? You love them, you shower them in love and affection and you tell them no firmly but lovingly. Seemed pretty easy; little did I know.

I wasn't prepared for those tears pooring down their cute chubby faces when you said no they couldn't do something. I wasn't prepared for the screaming and the feet stomping when they didn't get what they felt they deserved. I didn't know such a cute little creature could turn into such a horrible beast in a matter of seconds, and then come running into your arms saying, "sorry mommy" wanting you to hug and kiss them like nothing happened. I wasn't prepared for the eyes rolling in the back of their heads when you told them to do their chores, or the saying No and ignoring you when you told them for the tenth time that their room was a disaster and needed to be cleaned. But now that I have two teenagers I am starting to see just how difficult raising children is.

Up until the teenage years things had been more complicated than I had thought but nothing I couldn't handle, but then the dreaded teen years came and life as we knew it changed....and changed a lot. Now we have issues with curfew, friends, cell phones, school, boyfriends/girlfriends...and the list goes on and on. I never thought that I would be sitting wondering how to get Nathan to attend school, (especially when I thought for sure he was going on to university and it was no question that he was going to do well in life), while I sit and worry about Ariel and her boy choices. I never thought that things could be this difficult.

Don't get me wrong I knew that I would worry about things like "she is two minutes late, I wonder if she is okay," or "he is hanging out with that kid who likes to drink will he be smart enough not to partake." I knew I would worry because that is who I am, I worried about other people's children so I knew I would worry about mine. But I never thought that I would worry all the time. I never thought that I would lie in bed at night replaying the day wondering if I had done anything right that day. I never thougth I would sit and think to myself, "are they going to be okay in the real world?" I never thought I would spend every minute of the day worrying about where they were, what they were doing, and who they were doing it with.

To top this off the younger ones seem to idolize the older ones. I definetly didn't expect this, perhaps because I was the oldest and had no one to look up to but I never thought that Ariel would look up to Nathan, or Brittany to Ariel, or Connor to Brittany...it seemed irrational, but I guess that is what you do as a younger child. The only good part of this is that I know what to expect from the younger two...the same thing I got from the older two ONLY WORSE!! I found this quote and thought it is so true at my house "The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another. ~Quentin Crisp"

I guess I should have listened to my mother when she told me what to expect and that parenting isn't that easy. I would say that she didn't tell me but I know she would argue and say she did but I wasn't listening...and now having teenagers I know she is right. The only good part of all of this is 20-30 years from now when my children have teenagers and come to me and say "Mom why didn't you tell me parenting was so hard?" I can tell them I did you just weren't listening.

I am sure one day I will look back at pictures like this and laugh remembering what a great bunch of kids I had...but I am sure that day is a long way away some days.