Definition of Family

What is the definition of family?  The dictionary says that parents, and children; any group of persons closely related by blood.  But is that what makes a family?  The reason I bring this question is more about the changes in the world and the way families are made and broken every day.  When I was a child there was divorce, in my parents day there was divorce but it was less common.  Step siblings, half siblings happened but not as often or happened in situations when one parent passed away not really divorced, but now everywhere you turn there is a blended family.  So what happens when a blended family doesn't work and the members go their seperate ways and create new families...what happens to the ties that are made and the "family" that was created.

My family is a blended family...and not in the "traditional" way.  My husband and I were married very young and after six and a half years and two children we divorced.  In the eight and a half years we were apart we each had a child.  Now we are back together living as one big "happy" family.  In this we have created other families that are no longer together.  Giving our children step siblings that are not in their lives anymore or half siblings they have never met.  In other words causing great confusion.  But this confusion goes past my family, it stems to my parents, my husband's parents, grandparents, siblings etc.  They were once grandparents, aunts or uncles to a child that they no longer see.  What happens there?  Are they no longer "grandma" because that step-child is no longer a part of the "family" or are they "grandma" just in thought but not action?

My brother has a complicated family as well, when he was 17 he had a child who's mother died six months later.  Basically this child has never known his mother.  My brother has been involved in several other relationships over the years and each one with women who have a child or two of their own.  Some have come and gone quickly never really leaving much of an inpact, others not really wanting to be part of the big picture and their children were never really part of our family.  Others still adding to our family their children from previous relationships as well as ones with my brother.  Over the years my brother has had a total of six daughters...only one is biologically his.  His biological daughter has a half sister that was a big part of our family over the years...not to go into the major details, this child and her mother left our family not to be heard from again in 2003.  Now almost 6 years later they have resurfaced.  This is a great thing for my niece as she is almost 13 now and wants to know her mother and sister and I hope this will be a great experience for her.  But where does that leave the rest of us?  A child that was once thought of as your niece that you haven't heard from in almost six years reappears...is she still your niece even though your brother is no longer her "father?"  Do you open your heart to this child as you do to your biological niece and love her the same or is she just a child you once knew?  Do you just accept her back into your life as a girl who is related to your niece and leave it at that?

Sorry I am just rambling but these situations make me wonder about the confusion we are leaving our children when we divide and multiply our families over and over again.  I know that I am as guilty as anyone for this, making my children's family situation very complicated but I still question how we are to deal with the situations we are creating?  And what situations will our children create for their children if we continue on the path that we are on?  Are we teaching our children that no relationship is meant to last that not even your family is forever?