CAUTION: Venting
Lately some things have happened in my life and the world around me that really make me sit back and wonder about some people. I am a SAHM of 4 kids, and life here is pretty hectic at times. My point isn't to complain about my hectic schedule as I don't have an issue with it most times (just when my kids ask me something at the last minute and I have to rearrange things to make it happen) where my problem lies is with the people who take on responsibilities their schedules will not allow them to do. I understand sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you have to back out of things...no one knows that more than me...three months after buying a 2 door sports coupe I found out I was pregnant. I am talking about the people who already have major commitments or things going on in their life that prevent them from taking on something and they do it anyway.
In the last five months I have had some major issues with this very thing. I am a Girl Guide leader and I took on our local Pathfinder unit this year (girls aged 12-14)...and in the beginning I was all alone in this venture, and although the thought of me and 7 teenagers scared the crap out of me I was ready. I had asked the district if they could provide me some help and they sent me a 22 year old single mother of a 2 month old baby. I did not know this "girl" I had only met her in passing and knew nothing about her, but a friend of mine who has known her all her life just kind of went "oh crap". I gave the girl a chance we got together for a meeting and we planned out some activities and talked about what we were going to do with the girls, and things seemed to be going well. Then came the excuses "I can't come because the baby kept me up all night", "I won't be able to go to that event because I don't have a babysitter", "I can only go if I can take the baby with me." These were all understandable but it made me wonder if she had really thought through the commitment before she made it?
Growing up in an alcoholic home my father made promises to us every time he was drunk and then when he was sober he wouldn’t carry through so I learnt that he was unreliable and how much it hurt when someone promised you something and didn’t carry through. I hate doing that to children and do my best not to get a child excited about something until I can be sure I can make it happen. Well this girl had great ideas that she was going to do and we told the girls our plan for the next four months…two weeks later she quit on me. I had to go to my girls and tell them that there was no way on my own I could do the things that we had planned and that we pretty much had to start from scratch…the girls are okay with it and we are having a pretty good year just me and 4 teenage girls but I was very angry by the fact that she took on this responsibility knowing that she had a baby to take care of, and I was told she didn’t realize parenting was going to be so hard…sorry but I knew long before my baby was 2 months old how difficult it was to be a single mom (yah I did that for 10 months). Oh I forgot to mention that this girl also said she would be the treasurer for the district and never showed up to be trained.
This is my third year in Girl Guides in our area and they have not been the best years that is for sure, but when I say I am going to do it that is what I do. Last year I had to help behind the scene as I was working midnights and my husband was on shift work so some times I could only sleep when our meetings were taking place, but I helped with all the planning, attended all the camps…sleep deprived and all. But I was there because I said I would be. This year I told those girls that I would give them the best year I can and that is what I will do with or without help (which it looks like the later for the rest of the year) but I do what I say. Why do so many people not have this same attitude?
Sorry just venting!
Here is a pic I just had to add...I was playing with my baby in the 2 feet deep snow in our back yard and I got this awesome shot of him...he looks so grown up and mature in this pic.
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7 comments:
I'm a Daisy Girl Scout Leader (3-7 year olds...I'm not sure what your equivalent is LOL) and I know what it's like to have flaky assisstant leaders. As a matter of fact, I won't take an assisstant leader anymore because of it. I'd rather brave 15 little kids alone!
You go girl! I've been a Girl Scout leader for now going on 5 years. I started with all these moms who said they'd help. We formed a troop of Brownies. By about 2 meetings in, it was ME and my 9 Brownies. So, I kept hanging on and the next year, a new flock of Girls and Moms and by 2-3 meetings in again, it was ME and my 7 girls. The next year, same story, with the exception of one mom. She tried, she really did. But by the end, it was ME and my 9 girls. Last year, it was ME and my 8 girls. This year, I thought I was stuck again with ME and my girls, now across several levels. Over the summer I heard from a friend about her daughter's failed Daisy troop... Yep, I can't say no. Now, It's ME, 12 girls ages 5 - 12 and yes, about 4 helpful Daisy Moms and one Junior Mom. For the first time this year, I have someone else to do COOKIES!!! Yay! I feel your pain. I have lived your pain and I TOTALLY AGREE with your Venting!!! You go girl!
I know it's hard when other people don't see things the same as you. All that matters is that you do the best you can. Someday she'll regret missing out on something that could've been such an influential part of her life. Cute pic!
Don't worry and never say sorry about venting. We are all here for you. When I say I am going to do something, I really mean what I say, child in all. I'm sure the girls understand.
What a georgous picture!
I completely agree with you, and feel free to vent! We all need to. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to do anything extra right now, but I have been in situations where I was left holding the bag. Like for instance, every single group project I've had to do in college. I always get stuck with people who don't want to pull their weight. At first I was cool with it.
Last year I got downright ugly about it, and when I turned in a completed project, I would tell the teacher exactly what I did and exactly what the other students did! I know it sounds like tattle-telling, but I hate that people expect me to do the work, so they can get the good grade! It's been feeling pretty good!
As a teacher I get this all the time. "I will help in the room!" and they show up once. It is so hard for me to say no. I am stretched so thin but if I say I will be there I will be there! I wish we lived closer cuse I would so help you out! Never apologize for venting either its good for your health!
I commend you for doing what you do, and I'm sorry you have to put up with all of the junk that goes along with it. I too really hate it when people don't live up to their commitments esp where kids are involved. I have an ex husband who likes to promise things that he can rarely followup on. Disappointing a child is so cruel.
The photo of your son is adorable :)
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