Somebody's Watching Me.... :)

And (I always feel like)

(Somebody's watching me)

And I have no privacy

Whooooa-oh-oh

(I always feel like)

(Somebody's watching me)

Tell me, is it just a dream

~~Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell

If I could be a fly on the wall I think I would want to follow my 15 year old daughter Ariel around for the day...sometimes I wonder if this is a good idea but I am curious. As a mother you always want to know that your child is safe and that they are not doing things while they are out with their friends that you would consider questionable. It isn't that I don't trust my children I just wonder if I would be able to get a better understanding of what makes them behave the way they do if I could follow them around for a bit and see how things are in their lives. Yes I know it is hard to believe but I was a 15 year old girl once but things are so different now than they were when I was a teenager.

Ariel and I have lived very different lives but they have put us in very similar places. My parents stayed married although they were very unhappy...her parents divorced when she was 2 and remarried when she was 13. My father was an alcoholic and rarely around...her father has issues with alcohol through the years and was living with a woman who was an alcoholic and was a terrible 'mother' to her. I moved regularly up until I was 9 and had to change friends every year...she lives in a military community and although she has been in the same place since she was 2 her friends have come and gone over the years. We are very similar people but yet totally different. I understand that parts that make us similar, it is the differences that I would love to follow her around and see what makes her tick. I would never want to be 15 again, but to see what it would be like to be 15 now would be interesting.

I try to be a good mother, one that understands what my children are going through even though I don't always understand most of it. My daughter is a very complex person and her friendships are totally different than the ones I had as a teenager and that is the part that I totally don't understand about her. If I could spend a day following her around I might be able to get a better understanding of her relationships. I think the hardest part of being a parent is allowing your child to make their own friends and decide who they want to date. I sit and see her friends and wonder why would you want to be friends with that person? See the people she dates and wonder what do you see in him? It is hard to sit back and say you have to do what is best for you, even though as a parent you think you know much more than they do :) I would love to spend a few days following her around...of course she could never know I was there or she would hide stuff from me. But I would love to see how she is when I am not around and see if she is okay, and that her relationships are healthy.

I am sure she is fine but it would be great to be able to follow her around :)