Challenge #62

This week's challenge is 'decisions I made that turned out well" this is a very difficult challenge for me most of the decisions I have made don't seem to have turned out well.  The more I sit and think about this the more I wonder if they really didn't turn out well or if they just didn't turn out the way I wanted them to.  I think we get a preconcieved notion in our heads of how our choice/decision is going to affect our lives and when it takes us on a different road we feel that we made a bad choice/decision.  I believe that every choice/decision we make teaches us something about ourselves and we learn valuable lessons from those decisions if we are willing to open our hearts and minds to those lessons.

Many of my choices/decisions have been made with a hidden agenda is the best way to say it, I never thought the decision through I just told myself that it was the best option to get me to where I wanted to be.  Sometimes that place was out of a bad situation, sometimes that place was out of a certain location, etc.  But the decisions I made would help me to move on in my life in a way I thought I wanted to go at that time.  Sometimes, well most times, the road I chose was not really the road I wanted to be on but I learnt a lot while on that road.  I think most of the roads we are on is for that reason to teach us things and I am thankful for the lessons I have learnt because it has taught me not to make that decision again. :)

One of the most valuable lessons I learnt was in regards to my divorce and my oldest two children.  I am not going to go into great detail about the situation but it was a sitaution that I felt I needed to get out of and made the decision to do so.  Looking back I feel that it was a bad decision but at the time there wasn't really many other options and those that were there didn't seem any better than the one I chose.  After leaving my marriage my life headed in directions that I never saw myself going when I made the decision to leave and I learnt a lot of things about myself in those 9 years.  I know that I can't go back and change the choices that I made, and the effect they had on the lives involved but I did learn from them.  I learnt that I don't want to live another day without my children.  I learnt that marriage is for life and if you aren't able to go there don't make the committment, something at 19 I am not sure I truly understood.  But most of all I learnt that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.

I guess the point I am trying to make in my ramblings is that every day we make decisions, some informed and some spur of the moment, some decisions are ones we have thought over for long amounts of time and others we just make at that moment.  Unless the decision you made is actually a bad choice (ie, robbing a bank) you can't say that they were bad choices.  No one can perdict where their lives are going to take them and what affect the decisions they make will have on their lives and the lives of others, and no matter how bad you feel the choice was know that every choice teaches you something, learn what you are meant to learn and don't make that choice again in the future, or at least make it knowing that you might end up in the same place.