Embarrassing Moments

So the dictionary describes embarrassing as:

em-bar-rass-ing 

adjective

1. hard to deal with; especially causing pain or embarrassment; "awkward (or embarrassing or difficult) moments in the discussion"; "an awkward pause folled his remark"; "a sticky question"; "in the uneviable position of resorting to an act he had planned to save for the the climax of the campaign"

2. causing to feel shame or chargin or vexation, "the embarrassing moment when she found her petticoat down around her ankles"' "it was mortifying to know he had heard every word"

When you think of this definition it leaves you wide open every day to have embarrassing moments, and then you consider your personality, some people are embarrassed by the things they do and other don't really care.  Consider for a moment the person who seems to trip over thin air, gets up brushes themselves off and runs after the bus like nothing happened...if that moment any less embarrassing for the person who stands there all red faced wondering what they are supposed to do now as they are so mortified by the action that actually forgot what it was they were in the midst of doing?  I think not it is just the type of person you are and how you handle that embarrassing moment.  I am a very easily embarrassed person the worst part is that I am mostly embarrassed by the things other people do around me than the things I do myself.  Don't get me wrong I can do some pretty embarrassing things after all I am a klutz, but I feel more embarrassed by things that are beyond my personal control.  I am not sure if it is the control freak in me, or that I feel people will judge me by the actions of those around me.

Growing up my brother used to embarrass me all the time, and at 37 years old he still thinks it is funny to make me a laughing stock at his parties...how does he do this you wonder...well let me tell you.  My brother likes to make himself look better by pointing out the short comings of others, especially the one in the family who (according to him) perceives herself as perfect.  I have made a lot of bad choices in my life and although the choice itself isn't embarrassing per say it is when your brother is making it a party joke.  

For me the most embarrassing moments in my life have to do with my children, I have never said I was a perfect parent as I don't believe one of those exists, you do the best you can with what you are given and hope that they turn out to be decent adults that will do a little better with their children than you did with them.  But I am embarrass the most when my children do things that make me look like a bad parent.  I have two memories that really stand out as embarrassing and it also shows that no matter how old my children get it doesn't change how embarrassed I am by them (I am sure that will never change).  The first moment was many years ago, my son Nathan was 3 1/2 years old (that was 15 years ago) and we were visiting my mother.  My mother loves to shop and we had taken Nathan to the mall, and of course like any other mall the center aisle was filled with ride on toys and Nathan wanted to ride one.  Now just to let you know Nathan was a very quiet child, I have said several times that if he wasn't my first child I probably wouldn't have had any more, he was usually very well behaved.  Well I told him that he couldn't ride this toy...I don't remember why...and a volcano errupted inside that boy, I had never seen him throw a fit like that before.  I was so embarrassed I picked him up and carried him down the hall kicking and screaming to the back room where the bathroom was just so people couldn't see it...I am sure me carrying him kicking and screaming, 6 months pregnant...and I mean really pregnant was more embarrassing than the fit he threw but that didn't bother me, the fact that people would see my child acting like I was trying to kill him was more embarrassing to me, go figure.

The second one is my daughter at age 12 (which was about 3 years ago) being brought home by the MPs (military police for those of you who don't know).  Her and her best friend at the time were shopping at the local base department store (called the Canex...Canadian Exchange), and the story I was told was that she wanted a teddy bear but she did not have the money to pay for it, and her friend wanted her to have it so she stole it for her...according to the story I was told the other girl had enough money to pay for the bear and then some she just didn't want to waste her money on said item?  Anyway this was not just the story told to me by my daughter but the story told to me by the MPs...of course my daughter didn't tell me this story at first it was 'we are innocent' for a long time...  Anyway I was so embarrassed I thought I had raised my daughter to know that this was wrong.  My brother (the afore mentioned one) has done time in jail for theft and my children know all about this so I thought that they understood the ramifications of stealing, not only that but I thought I had taught them that you don't take things that don't belong to you.  Anyway even with the MP persistantly telling me how this thing happens all the time at this age and that they doubted it was anything to worry about I was totally embarrassed.  I was embarrassed that I wasn't a better parent, embarrassed that the neighbours would see my daughter coming home in the back of an MP car and wonder what kind of horrible children I was raising next door?  

Don't get me wrong I have done my share of embarrassing things...I have tripped over air, I have walked around with my skirt tucked in my underware, I have said the wrong thing at the wrong time many times.  About 8-9 years ago my boyfriend at the times' father was very ill, we had been called to come because they didn't think he would live (he went for surgery and the cancer was so bad they just closed him up and said you are goig to die in 6 weeks tops...I spoke to this boyfriend about 2-3 years later and his father was still alive and kicking) any way, I had never met this man before this hospital visit and out of habit I said one of the stupidest things I have said in my life...the conversation went as follows:

Dad: Hi, nice to meet you.  How are you?

Me: Fine thanks and you?

My boyfriend glared at me, I went red and the dad said: I have been better.  I felt like such a fool, but he chuckled and later thanked me because I was the first person to actually ask him how he was feeling?  Although it was a stupid thing to say, one of those habits that are out of your mouth before you even think about what you are saying but in the end maybe a good thing.

I guess the bottom line for me is we all have those moments when we are not our best, where we are not shinning as bright as we could.  We have those moments when life hands us a situation that isn't the prettiest.  I don't think it is that moment that is important but what we do with it.  Get up, brush yourself off, chuckle at yourself for being such an 'idiot' and move on.  I think that is going to become my motto for life :)