Friendship

According to the dictionary friendship is the state of being a friend; association as friends; a friendly relation or intimacy; friendly feeling or disposition, that to me is pretty wide open.  Friendship to me is a very difficult subject as I don't really have many friends.  I am not sure why there must be something about my personality that causes people to not really want to be friends with me.  I very lots of acquantance friends, you know the ones that you work with, are involved in groups with but the minute you leave that building they don't speak to you anymore.  I have a lot of one sided friendships you know the ones where you call them and make coffee arrangements, you invite them out, or you call them and they invite you to their house but if you didn't call them they would never call you.  But I have very few friends that I actuall call a true friend, really I only have two at this point in my life.

My friend Tammy has always been there for me.  We met when we were in the hospital giving birth, well she was giving birth and I was on bed rest.  She was wonderful, going to get me snacks from the kitchen because I wasn't allowed out of bed, and sitting with me when I was all alone for the second week.  The hospital policy was that only the parents and the nurses were allowed to hold the baby as long as it was a patient of the hospital, so after she checked herself and her daughter out of the hospital she came back so I could hold her...she said neither of us are patients anymore so they can't tell me who can hold my baby...that was almost 19 years ago.  We were there for each other through out the next six years and then divorce caused us to end up in different parts of the country, her in Ontario and me in Alberta.  Although we haven't seen each other in 13 years we know that if we ever needed anything the other one would be there.  If I need an honest opinion on something I ask her, if we are having issues in our relationships or with our children the other one is only a text or email away.  Proof that you don't have to be together every day to be friends.

My friend Justine is a new friend and in the beginning I wasn't sure how much of a friend she really was going to be.  Justine and I met in Girl Guides, she is 14 years younger than I am and really we have nothing in common...  Justine and I were in Brownies and after one year both decided that 7-9 year old girls were too much for us and decided to go to Pathfinders (12-14) year old girls.  We did really well together but I started a new job and couldn't make all the meetings which but a lot of strain on Justine (there were other leaders but they were not pulling their weight) and the stress was too much for her and at the end of that year she pulled out of Guiding altogether.  I had decided to do the same as I wasn't working anymore but ended up being talked into one more year.  So I am the leader of 4 Pathfinders all by myself...but Justine has helped me out a lot through out the year, I have gotten great ideas from her, she has allowed us to come to her house and teach the girls to bake and is there as my right hand even though she is no longer attached to our unit (she is still officially a Guider for those of you worried about policy but that is another story).  Anyway Justine for the most part were acquantance friends we hung out for planning with Pathfinders but really had nothing to do with each other on a personal level, but gradually our friendship has grown.  This week my husband is away in Bagotville, Quebec and I am flying solo with my three kids (step child is at her mother's house) and the dog.  Well my dog is sick...I am actually allergic to dogs, I am okay if I just love em without then touching my face before washing my hands, and as long as I don't wash them or groom them I am okay.  Well my poor puppy is have diareha issues and had large quantities of poop stuck to his behind.  Justine came over and cleaned him up and informed me that something was wrong that he was sick and need to see the vet. She got me an appointment with her vet and is going with me to take him there...I think that is a true friend.

My son says that the reason I don't have many friends is because I only like the crazy ones...the ones crazy enough to come over and clean poop off my dog.  But I think it is because the friends that I do have a great friends that will do anything to help you in your time of need.  And I think that everyone needs more friends like that.  I honestly believe that we are better off with one really good friend than a whole bunch of not so good friends.