Achieving a Better Life

When one thinks of the accomplishments in their life they usually refer to the career path they have choosen, or maybe the education they have received, but for me accomplishments are more personal than that. The dictionary describes accomplishment as: an act or instance of carrying into effect; fulfillment: the accomplishment of our desires...something done admirably or creditably...anything accomplished; deep; achievement: a career measured in a series of small accomplishments.

I have dug deep for this challenge to think of what my greatest achievement is and for me it is about leaving a better legacy. Now I know that sounds a little weird how can you achieve a legacy...so let me explain. The world I grew up in seemed normal to me and I guess normal is what you precieve it to be...but my parents (well mostly my father) enjoyed to party. We bounced from home to home when I was young. I don't really recall a lot of my childhood but I know that we moved around a lot, we lived in our own places as well as with different relatives. The parts that I do remember involve a lot of parties with adults drinking, doing drugs and just 'enjoying life'. As I got older my father stopped doing drugs and in a few years stopped drinking but it left it's mark on my family. My father has 9 older siblings and 3 younger ones and most enjoyed drinking and drugs or their significant others did. His mother, father and step-father all had issues with alcohol. So as you can see that alcohol addictions run deep in my family. There are reports of alcohol abuse in my mother's family as well although I don't know that side well enough to comment. We used to say that 'blood ran through our alcohol system' that is how bad it was in our family.

Growing up I really didn't have a plan or a goal like most kids. I didn't want to grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer, or go off to university. I didn't really know what I wanted to be and I am not sure if that was from the being told I wouldn't be able to accomplish those things or the reality that they were out of my grasp financially but I never really thought about what I wanted to become. My goal was to have a better life than that of my mother. My mother lived with an alcoholic husband, struggling with the children to watch her son become just like his father, and then the grandson that she raised follow along. I wanted a life that didn't include alcohol and drugs. I have struggled very hard against this in my life, and many people in my family think that I believe I am better than they are because I don't have issues with alcohol or drugs but I am quite proud of the fact that alcohol doesn't control my life.

When I was younger I partied as much or more as my friends and if I hadn't become pregnant at 19 I probably wouldn't have been able to say this about my life now. Once I got pregnant I stopped drinking and have never started again...and unlike most people I can honestly say that I have never taken a drug I can't buy in the local drug store. I have been married or involved with people that have issues with alcohol and/or drugs but I personally have been able to say NO. This has never been a struggle for me other than I don't like to hurt people's feelings when they offer, and in those situations I usually nurse one drink all night long just to make them happy not because I want it. But at this stage of my life I say no often, I rarely drink anything alcoholic and I am okay with that.

My children have seen how alcohol can affect the lives of others as they see it in the lives of people around them, and they know that it is very easy to fall into the alcoholic lifestyle. I have told them how I almost became consumed by alcohol as a teenager and how my pregnancy changed my life. They have heard all the research that says alcoholism is a disease and is genetic and how easy it would be for them to fall into an alcoholic lifestyle and I hope that knowing this has made them think twice before going down that road. I know that my almost 19 year old son really doesn't like alcohol, he rarely drinks and has only been drunk a few times in his life...and hopefully it stays that way.

So my greatest accomplishment in my opinion is that I ended a many generation old pattern and have shown my children that the alcohol free road does exist. To some this may not seem like a great accomplishment but when alcoholics surround you and all you see is alcohol and drugs in your life, getting them out of your world is a lot. I know that it is possible that one or more of my children might end up battling drugs and alcohol in their lives but I hope that showing them that you can live your life without it they will at least think twice before heading in that direction. So even though I am not a doctor or a lawyer, I barely made it through high school, I will probably never have a career just a job that I really don't like much, I think I have shown my children that no matter what you come from you can take steps to make your life a step better and that no matter how far down you are on the ladder of life that you can always find a way to move up...it doesn't have to be to the top but that every step up is a step closer to the top ;)