The End of the Road...start of a new one

Today is the end of the road for my son, Nathan. He has come to the end of high school and now has to figure out which road he will take with the rest of his life. It seems like forever ago I was in his same position. Like me Nathan isn't a huge fan of homework, but for a totally different reason than me. For me it was because I wasn't the best student and stuggled really hard to get through my classes. With Nathan it was just laziness, in the school he attended they never really handed out any homework until the 9th grade and by then he had learnt that he could pay attention in class and not have to do his homework and he would still be able to coast through on his test marks. He went from a straight A student to a straight D student but he was still passing. We watched doors close over and over again for him knowing that he was so much smarter than that. It hurts me a great deal as I see so much of myself in his choices. I never thought I was smart enough to become whatever I wanted so I never tried. I believed I was never going to amount to anything so a high school diploma wasn't really something I needed. I didn't graduate with my friends, I never went back to finish the second year of grade 12 and ended up getting my diploma through the mail after writing my final exam at 8 months pregnant. At 20 years old I was a wife and a mother and thought that there was nothing else I could do...I wanted much more for my children. I hope that my son soon realizes that he is a very smart guy and figures out what it is that he wants to do with his life before it is too late.

Almost 19 years ago, he was born...it seems like a life time ago but at the same time just yesterday. So much has happened in our lives that makes 1990 seem like another lifetime ago, but I can remember holding him in my arms and reading to him just like it was yesterday.

Here is me and my little man when he was almost 4 months old...

Then it was off to school. It was a difficult time for me letting him go. My husband was in the military and I was a stay at home Mom, I was rarely away from my son, he went to preschool three afternoons a week and it seemed like a life time...but before the year was over his sister was born and that filled up my days :)

This is his first school photo...preschool, he hates this hair cut and says we were horrible people for letting him look like this...he forgets that he wouldn't let us cut his hair :)

Then it was time for graduation, I couldn't believe how much of a deal they made out of graduation from preschool, but now that I have a picture of him in a cap and gown I realize it might be the only one I will get...he opted not to participate in graduation ceremonies as he feels they are a waste of time and money. The cap he is wearing in this photo has his father's actual high school graduation cap...

Time flew by so fast and before we knew it he was in grade 9 and graduating out of the school he had attended since grade 1. He was moving on to the big high school. We were worried of where this would lead him as he had only coasted through grade 9 but we were hopefully he would pull it together.

This is his grade 9 photo...

He stopped going for high school photos in the 10th grade so I have no professional pictures of him after that. He hates having his picture taken so all I have is a snapshot taken last month. His girlfriend says she is going to have graduation photos taken with him and I sure hope she does as I really want some but I guess I will have to see what happens.

At almost 19 years old my son has finished high school, we are just waiting for the diploma to come in the mail, and it is offical. I can't believe that it was almost 19 years ago that I held him in my arms and wished a wonderful life for him. Here is hoping that he has the knowledge needed to be that wonderful person I know is deep down inside of him :)